Each of us knows what it feels like starting a new and serious relationship; however, it is even harder if you are planning to start dating right after recovery. There are many opinions regarding this issue, and this article will help you reconsider the way one treats the possibility of new relations after the recovery from a new angle.
Frequently, the reason why you should put romantic relations on hold is due to the possibility of a relapse, especially if we are talking about men. Male addiction differs from the female’s one, a lot. Even though women seem to be more likely to experience relapses because of higher post-recovery craving levels than males, both genders are at risk during the first year after the recovery process.
Both males and females are exposed to numerous temptations in a time of and after recovery. For that reason, it is of great importance that people focus on their self-care, recovery, and avoid any big life changes. One of the most significant emotional changes is at the beginning of a romantic relationship.
Why Wait Until The First Year Of Recovery Is Over?
A new relationship between two people in not an easy affair and requires constant work from both sides. A healthy relationship becomes a person’s support system and an orienting point despite all the challenges that can come up. Interestingly, the brain of a person who is in love, is similar of the mind of an addict.
All the highs people in love experience work the same way that drugs influence the brain and behavior of an addicted person. Thus, when there are some lows, one (an addict in this case) will have to seek out sources that will make him high. Relationships are often a roller coaster. The problem here is that such highs and lows can be destructive for the addict and can trigger the behavior of an addicted person.
The recovery process doesn’t just last for several months; in some cases, it can take several years to become fully clean. For that reason, the first year of recovery is the time one should spend on continuing the therapy and learning a healthy lifestyle. Addicts have time to devote themselves to their future, a better life, and full recovery. To enter into a healthy relationship, you should be of a strong will and be able to become a pillar of support for your loved ones. Healthy relationships take place only under such conditions.
Clean And Ready To Start Relations: Be Aware Of These Signs
All the things that are correlated with romantic affairs are impregnated with emotions. Most of the drug rehabilitation facilities for men will recommend waiting for some time before starting a new relationship, yet, if you are willing to write a new page of life with another person, it should be a well-thought out decision.
First and foremost, you should not treat a new relationship as something that is going to last forever and be perfect. Anything can happen and, therefore, a former addict should keep in mind several red-light signs that presuppose potential danger. If one notices any sign out of the list below, it is best to end the relationship:
- Telling lies
- Lack of trust and poor communication
- Infidelity
- Traces of previous relationships
- Controlling behavior
- No desire to solve conflicts
- Poor or no intimacy
Here, both former addicts and those who are not addicts should remember that the signs above apply to everyone. A partner who does not take into account the feelings, opinions, and desire to improve/develop the relationship requires a closer look: perhaps it is not your kind of a person at all. Besides, if such relationships take away much of your spare time that was supposed for personal needs, this is a typical sign of unhealthy relationships.
Sobriety Is Number One Priority
The first thing that anyone who undergoes the recovery process should remember, that it is your own right to want to start a new life and share it with another person; however, a man’s rehabilitation will take time and continuous practice. People who are in the process of rehabilitation are like a pendulum: today, you have everything, and tomorrow you might have nothing. Therefore, rehab for men presupposes a straightforward and strict recovery plan.
Here are some points to explain why ‘sobriety first’ rule matters:
- You must think about the time you need to spend on rehabilitation as equivalent to the time you spent drinking. You must realize the scope of an issue. Thinking about rehab, one should picture the years of addiction as follows: ‘I spent five years on alcohol because that was the number one thing to me. Now, I have another priority – sobriety.’
- Any addiction takes away your energy and worse, time. An addict should consider a recovery time as a period of constant self-exploration. The focus must be on one’s own strengths and weaknesses, as well as on the ways of searching for more opportunities to discover the best sides of yourself.
- One of the reasons why people tend to pass through the recovery process is to become a good boyfriend, father, daughter, or friend. For that reason, you should be 100% sure that you are ready to become that person – a strong-willed fighter. Stability, confidence, and eagerness are the things that can help you during recovery.
- A good way to focus on the recovery is as follows: conform to the temptations of the world around, but not the whole world around. It is always a win-win situation when one can make the best out of life, live in harmony with it. You cannot avoid everything related to the world around just because of a fear of facing the challenges. On the contrary, you should learn to focus on recovery and learn to let in the surrounding world’s treasures.
It is critical that a recovering person realizes the meaning of the entire process of recovery as something vital. One must stay sober, avoid tempting things, places, and people to become the better version of oneself. It is not the case of egocentric behavior; however, the need for a full-fledged life one deserves.
Lay The Groundwork For Future Relationships
Knowing that it is better to wait for one more year after the recovery process, you can then think about laying the groundwork for future relationships. Whether you have passed through the alcohol rehab for men or have just completed rehab for the drug addicts, work on the establishment of the contact. Communication is essential for those who are willing to return to a healthy social life. That is why you may work on creating the social circle while still going through the recovery or after completing it.
I hope you got valuable information from this article: Beginning a New Relationship After Recovery.
