< Transitions Abroad Index >  < Overseas Jobs Index >  <  Disclaimer >

Depending on your outlook, following your spouse abroad means abandoning the familiar routine of your life, including your steady job. So, when my significant other told me, with great enthusiasm, he’d been offered a position in Cochabamba, Bolivia, I didn’t know whether to be pleased or panicked. Living and working in a foreign country can be an exciting and rewarding experience in many ways. But what if the foreign assignment is only for your spouse? What if your job won’t travel?

SINCE 1977 – the central hub for alternative travel. Find the best information for affordable overseas travel outside the regular tourist routes...

You agree that the opportunity is indeed too good to pass up. But privately, when it comes time to quit your job and start packing, you’re terrified and resentful.

You are convinced you’ve just sacrificed your career for the benefit of your spouse.

But after spending a year and a half in central Bolivia and undergoing a somewhat bumpy re-entry into the U.S. job market, I’ve learned there are things you can do, before you even apply for your passport, to safeguard and even enhance your career--some I did, some I wish I’d done. While I was there, I met a number of women who were in similar positions, having followed a working spouse to his new job. What we all found was that if you truly love what you do for a living, you can find ways to keep doing it. And if you’re in a career rut, this is just the chance you needed to dig your way out.

An Opportunity, Not a Problem

First and most important, recognize this is an opportunity rather than a problem. Many professionals would give their eye teeth for sabbatical time to research, write, or simply gain a new perspective. You now have that opportunity--don’t waste it.

Realistically, in a poor, non-industrialized nation, you will not be working for anything close to your current salary. (Some companies, though, will make an effort to find a spot for spouses. It can’t hurt to ask.) You may not be able to work for pay at all. Many countries will not allow a foreigner to take a job that could be filled by a citizen. And even if your host country has a bi-lateral work agreement with the U.S., high unemployment is often a factor. Language skills sometimes present difficulties as well: the vocabulary that will get you through the local market may not be adequate for a technical position. Still, with a little effort and imagination you can maintain or improve your skills, add to your resume, and contribute something to your host country as well.

I met Jeanie Rafferty in her job as the Community Liaison Officer (CLO) in the American embassy in La Paz, Bolivia. Tall and slender, with a mass of wavy red hair that belies her meticulously organized personality, Jeanie is a nurse, married to a career diplomat. She told me that when they first arrived in Bolivia, she interviewed for nursing positions with three local agencies and was passed over for a native speaker each time.

So Jeanie worked at the embassy for a paycheck, but she practiced her profession for free. She volunteered her time at the Children’s Burn Unit at the La Paz hospital. She not only maintained her clinical nursing skills, but her "day job" gave her valuable administrative experience to take back to the States.

Imke Schlösser, a blue-eyed blond German with an infectiously friendly smile and a PhD in plant pathology, also lost out to native speakers in her quest for work in Bolivia. Imke and her Dutch husband, a mathematician, work for the university system that Holland supports in 10 countries around the world. She laughingly says they’re satisfied if one or the other of them has a paying contract at any given time.

"It’s more important to feel like you’re doing something meaningful--contributing something. The money isn’t all that important."

This time, her husband got the contract and there was no position for Imke at the Dutch university. So she went to the local campus and offered her credentials with the open-ended question, "What do you need?"

When I left, she was working three days a week (unpaid), updating the University’s texts and lecture notes for their agricultural program, and looking for sources for new technical materials. She says she’s extremely satisfied and, "I also have time to take classes in tai chi, flute, and Spanish language." She will move on to her next assignment with several new entries on her resume.

Unfortunately, not everyone is so successful. I know of one woman who scornfully told her language instructor, "It’s not my job to learn Spanish, it’s your job to teach me."

She bailed out after a year, leaving her husband to finish his three-year assignment unaccompanied. It would be easy to dismiss her as just having the wrong attitude, but it’s not that simple. Following a husband to a Third World country presents special difficulties for a career-oriented woman.

Culture Shock

Culture shock is more than your initial mental adjustment to strange customs, new language, and perhaps water that isn’t safe to drink. It is a very real set of symptoms that may include depression, anxiety, increased incidence of minor illnesses, and a sense of helplessness.

Much has been written about the general culture shock that many people experience once the initial excitement of a new experience has worn off. If you have been accustomed to going to work every day, making decisions, and bringing home your own paycheck, your sense of displacement may be intensified. Americans are especially prone to identify ourselves by the work we do. If you aren’t currently "doing" your chosen work, don’t beat yourself up. It can be an ego-strengthening exercise.

The language barrier is another problem. If you are normally assertive and articulate, being reduced to uttering simple, declarative sentences will be especially frustrating. Remind yourself that you are still articulate in English, and take positive steps to master your new language just as you would any new skill needed for your old job.

In fact, the best defense you have against culture shock is the same discipline and self-motivation that made you successful in the first place.

(This article can be viewed in its entirely in the March/April 1998 issue of Transitions Abroad magazine.)