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Ms. Royster graduated early from Indiana University, determined to make up for the one thing she missed in her intense three years of college – going overseas again.  With a little research and some advice from her tour guide on her graduation trip through Spain, she launched a career as an English as a Foreign Language (EFL) instructor in Madrid. She speaks Spanish and French and is working on German. Now an IT consultant in San Francisco, California, Ms. Royster counts her years in Madrid as the best, most challenging, of her life. Additional Resources Living Overseas  International Jobs Listing  Contact Libby Royster

I miss the tapas, Mudejar architecture, Sevillana pottery, Sunday walks in Retiro park, Moorish ruins, discothequing till dawn, and the sweet, sweet way McDonald’s beer cures a massive hangover caused by too many calimochos. I am an ex-ex-pat of Spain returned home to the USA after spending two years in beautiful Madrid as an instructor of English as a foreign language. At the end of my teaching overseas contract, I felt it was time to return to my native land, but it wasn't easy.  Here are some personal observations of my own "return of the native" proving you can go home,

What You Give Up by Going Home

For all of you out there in the wilds of other worlds pondering a reverse migration, think long and hard about what you’ll be missing.  I won’t bore you with any more of my own Spanish-centric reveries, but there are themes that remain constant to every ex-pat’s adventure.

Learning something new every day
Most foreigners have seen more of that country than the natives – don’t be an exception ?  We’re such a young country; what I love about visiting outside this place is living alongside their history.  And if the language is different, there is always a wealth of complex verb structures, colloquialisms, and expletives waiting to be acquired.

Being special
That ‘je ne sait quoi’ and savage foreign accent that allows you to get away with murder and date people who are way better-looking than you.  Sacrifice of exotic status warrants contemplation.

Your friends
Ah, we are a wayward, gypsy bunch, we ex-pats.  Undoubtedly the coolest people you’ll ever meet, but very hard to keep in touch with.  This will be a challenging, expensive, although not impossible task when you leave.  If you can manage it, of course, you will have neat places to vacation at a lower-than-hostel, couch-crashing rate.  And email.  It’s a good thing.

Your network and credentials
A continuation of the former, this is meant more on a professional level.  By citing references or degrees from overseas in the US market, you are by definition requesting some substantial latitude from your American-based employer….

Particularly, if Sr. Agote Pacheco, your previous boss who gave you glowing accolades, no espeak eengleesh.  Be prepared to support your CV bulletpoints with some supporting documentation and even certified translation.

Foreign language skills
Depending on what your linguistic ability was when you left, there is definitely a steady rate of fluency decline by removing oneself from daily immersion.  The funny thing is, however, that you’ll find it’s still up there in the recesses of your mind.  If you return to a country where it’s spoken, the cobwebs will dissolve in a matter of days.  So, no worries! You did it once; you can do it again.

Vacation
Less Paid Time Off, no such thing as a bank holiday, saint’s days a PC no-no, and a bunch of public holidays marked on a calendar you don’t actually get the day off for.  Also, unless you’re living on a border, it’s much harder and more costly to make your vacation destination an international one.

Mobility
Meant two-fold.  First off, moving back often entails losing the ability to be a pedestrian.  Unless you live in a large, cosmo city with adequate public transportation, a car, with insurance, is essential.  Most of us will also acquire other things with more ease, as the comfort of being home and materialism settles in.  Pretty soon, you can no longer fit your life in the back of your friend’s compact or in that pre-furnished studio with the hotplate (or for those of you who are braver adventurers than I, the thatch hut with outdoor plumbing!).

Patriotism
One would think that by going back to your native land, you have the chance to re-identify with your patriotic roots.  On the other hand, I have never been so aware of being an American than when living overseas.  You are an instant ambassador, and often expected to speak intelligently on a wide range of subjects related to your home land.  I was surprised to find myself judged not only for myself, but for the actions of my country.

New Identity
I’m not talking extradition or crime-fighting aliases, but going to a new country where virtually no one knows you is terribly liberating.  You can reinvent yourself into whoever you wish to be.  Going home sometimes means facing yourself and your past.  If you like who you are overseas, try making a conscious decision to work the new you into the old surroundings.

. .

What You Bring Back to the US I can’t tell you how many of my ex-pat friends, faced with the prospect of going back home to get ‘real jobs,’ felt they had nothing to offer.  They tortured themselves with all sorts of paranoid visions of recruiters scoffing at their resume gaps, and became apologists for their free-loving, backpacking English-teaching ways. It seems that the longer you stay away from your native country, the more you distort and deify their market.  My colleague from Ireland, currently working in the States, faces the same factless fears about having lost her bloody-knuckled Irish work ethic.

No! No! NO!  Pshaw, I say!  You have followed a dream.  You have demonstrated initiative, research, project planning, budgeting, preparation, problem-solving, and flexibility, combined with an ability to adjust to new environments and some particularly peptic local dishes.  Not to mention, you’ve probably picked up some linguistic skills and cultural awareness often bereft in the average American, bless our egocentric hearts.

Just because you’ve been having fun doesn’t mean you haven’t been growing and learning.  Your experience is invaluable and extraordinary, and makes you interesting. Most importantly, people - you’ve done what your boss wishes he or she had done 15 years before, and you will never ever regret it.

So don’t go home with your tail between your legs.  Raise your head as high as the rest as you ex-expatriate to the motherland – she’s glad to have you back!

What You Get by Going Home

Family and Friends
The people who have known us since infancy, the spouses yet to meet, the grammas and pawpaws we were praying would hang on until the next visit.  These are the ties that bind, and if you’re lucky enough to have them, you’ll count yourself even luckier to have them near.  Chances are, absence has made the heart grow fonder.

The Little Things
One of my friends in the States who lived overseas for several years says this; “Sometimes I think I’d give my right arm to get back, but you know, I can walk a block from my house and there’s a Baskin Robbins there, and they make these milkshakes.  Thick.  Like they’re supposed to be.”  It’s the difference between working your schedule around the grocery merchant’s naptime to picking up a box of cereal and a head of lettuce at 3am.  CD’s at non-import rates.  Dairy products you recognize and know what to do with.  Getting the talk show host’s jokes.  Credit vs. cash.  Movies with no subtitles.  Driver’s license vs. passport….Know what I mean? 

Real Furniture
Enough said.

Career
I still haven’t figured this one out, but it’s pretty nice to apply for a job and check the Resident-Yes! box.  Feeling your days are numbered because your visa’s restrictive or about to run out, or whoops, you don’t have one?  You’re a citizen again, not a visitor on probation.  Makes getting a decent job, and even a career in what you actually want to do much easier…and don’t forget the favorable exchange rate for your paycheck’s buying power elsewhere, at least for the moment!
 

So I’m back now, and I get teary-eyed at Almodovar films and envious when I hear about others’ vacations to the place I used to call home.  On the other hand, I actually have comprehensive health insurance, a growing career and, would you believe it, a retirement fund.  I get my paycheck direct deposited into my Money Market Account as opposed to getting an envelope of cash for my shoebox.  I may actually be able to afford a home and 2.5 kids someday….Whoops, just got laid off!  I live in a pretty cool place and do some backroads weekend excursions to places that are new and charming, if not worldly and exotic.  I miss the outdoor flamenco guitar concerts, but I just saw

Wavy Gravy and the rest of the Dead last night and there’s just no beating those wonderful ole self-proclaimed geezers.

Sometimes I forget that there are ex-patriots from other countries, probably the one you’re in right now, living in the States.  The INS reports that more than 30.1 million non-immigrants were granted entry into the US in 1998, and they gave out over 88,000 non-immigrant specialty working visas in the year 2000.  There must be something pretty cool about this country.

Life does not end when you come back. You just have to try harder, rage against the known, and mix it up a little. And you can always go back….
 

When You Know It’s Time to go Away Again To be honest, I’m still searching for the holy grail, that elusive chalice called the perfect job that allows me to watch my best friend’s and brother’s children grow up, take care of my parents when they need me, and still allow me to be a well-traveled multilingual sophisticate. If anyone knows how I can do this, let me know! In the meantime, I’ll be living vicariously through you ....