Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2006 Cuenca, Ecuador First I should point out by way of full disclosure that I love Ecuador.  I chose this country after taking a hard look at a dozen others and, after two-and-a-half years, have no regrets.  Plenty of things here drive me crazy, but the following are my top six gripes: Everything takes a looong time.  Whether you're buying a car, setting up Internet service, opening a bank account, obtaining official documents or paying a utility bill, be prepared to make a significant investment of time.  We often say that Ecuador resembles the U.S. in the 1950s.  That's right but in addition to picnics by the river, ma and pa out for a Sunday stroll and pigs roasting merrily on the outdoor rotisserie, there are symbols of that era we would just as soon forget. Ever wonder what happened to those old Royal, Smith Corona, and Underwood typewriters that provided the background clatter in U.S. offices 50 years ago?  Many of them, apparently, were granted asylum in Ecuador and today are operated by cadres of clerks using the hunt-and-peck technique, most of them with dubious aim. Remember carbon paper and rubber stamps?  They are as much a fixture of official life here as the ill-humored counter clerks chaffing in their starched collars.

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Although Ecuador has relatively reliable cell phone coverage and service, and cell phones are easy to get, per-minute costs are high.  My advice: buy a monthly plan instead of phone cards unless you only plan to be in the country for a few days.  Also, take advantage of programs offered by some cellular companies that allow you to pick several frequently called numbers for which you will be charged only 2c to 3c per minute.

English is not the first language.  You must learn Spanish if you plan to spend much time here. Although Ecuadorians are extremely tolerant of speakers of other languages, you miss out on a lot of fun, not to mention great friendships, by not learning the language.  Acquiring even basic Spanish is hard work, particularly for aging brain cells, but your efforts will yield big dividends.

Poor pedestrian infrastructure.  A personal injury lawyer would starve to death in Ecuador; in this country, you are expected to look out for yourself, and there are few laws that will grant you compensation if you are injured.  Gaping cracks and holes in the sidewalks (where there are sidewalks)…power pole guy wires that don't have the bright yellow or orange plastic sheathing you're accustomed to in the U.S….irregular stairs without handrails… Plus, as a pedestrian, consider yourself invisible to drivers.

Wads of cash. The good news is that Ecuador uses the U.S. dollar.  The bad news for the traveler or newcomer is that those greenbacks are often hard to come by.

Except in larger cities, you will probably find it difficult to cash travelers checks, and even in cities you might find yourself going from bank to bank to find an amendable teller.  Although ATM machines are common in most towns, you may have to hunt for one that dispenses cash.  Although I've never heard of anyone who could not find an ATM that didn't work for them, it's not uncommon to try three or four before finding one that honors your card.  To protect yourself, bring several days' cash in case of a problem.

And, if you bring cash, don't bring bills in denominations higher than $20.  You will find $100 bills hard to change, even at banks.  If you can stand the size of the wad, in addition to twenties, bring plenty of ones and fives.

The mañana complex. The tradition of putting things off until tomorrow--or next month--is as endemic in Ecuador as it is in other Latin American countries.  If the carpenter tells you he will have your bookcase finished in two weeks, expect it in two months.  If you've booked the washing machine repairman or Internet installer to come Thursday afternoon, be prepared for disappointment.  (Although you can alter the status quo through sheer persistence--reconfirm appointments by phone the morning they are scheduled, and show the carpenter no mercy.)

But it's not all doom and gloom.  You can usually get someone else to do your dirty work--for $5 or $10, your maid, gardener, or neighbor will be happy to stand in line to pay your bills or register you car, then return the receipts and paperwork to you.  Several banks will even pay your utility bills through direct deduction.

It will do your soul good to not see personal injury lawyers cruising around town in brand new Hummers, and you'll regain the sense of personal responsibility you probably lost years ago.

Finally, in defense of the mañana complex, consider that Ecuadorians have 30% less heart disease, strokes, and heart attacks than North Americans.

Talk to you again soon…or whenever.