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Open Homes – An unfamiliar concept to the English, this is the practice of setting specific viewing times (usually on a Sunday in NZ) to go and see property which is for rent or for sale. This means you’re often walking round viewing a place with others who are potentially hell-bent on securing it for themselves – so “bidding wars” on properties (sidling up to vendors with meaningful looks, or offering more than the advertised asking price) are commonplace. Property prices in NZ are very high, with a recent US survey citing it as the second most expensive place to buy property in the world – second only to Australia. P P – Methamphetamine drug that has the prevalence in NZ that “E” does in the UK. Poms will be surprised at the open sale in NZ of “party pills”, too, which can be bought at dedicated stores on the high street. Pakeha – Prevalent Maori term, used to describe anyone of European (ie non-Maori) descent, including Brits. Pak N Save – Everything they do, they do to save you money! So says their advertising slogan. You won’t buy cheaper food anywhere in NZ – though the price you’ll pay is packing up your own shopping. Paua – (pronounced “par-wah”) A close relative of abalone, it comes in a beautiful blue-green shell. Maori use the shiny shell for eyes in carvings of various creatures. Whole paua shells are used for ashtrays and other containers, and pieces of paua shell are used for making jewellery, coasters, and a variety of other objects and souvenirs. You’ll see paua items prominently featured in any NZ airport gift shop. Pav or pavlova – Classic Kiwi
dessert made of meringue and cream, usually topped with kiwifruit. Invented
as a tribute to Russian ballerina Anna Pavlova, who toured NZ and Australia
in 1926. The pavlova has long been at the centre of a trans-Tasman dispute
– both Kiwis and Aussies steadfastly maintain they invented it. However,
the first appearance of the recipe in written form was in a New Zealand
cookbook in the early 1930s – which is arguably proof of the pavlova’s
true provenance.
PJ – Frequently-used nickname for Peter Jackson, iconic Lord of the Rings and King Kong film director, arguably NZ’s most famous person right now. Instantly recognisable as he looks like a hobbit – usually sporting shorts, bare feet and a scruffy haircut. In true Kiwi style, his face greets you at Wellington Airport – lovingly crafted out of hundreds of slices of bread! (See also Lord of the Rings). Pohutukawa – NZ’s Christmas Tree, sprouting brilliant red flowers around December time (which, remember, is the middle of summer in NZ, so be ready to email your loved ones back in wintry Blighty, telling them stories of your sizzling hot beach BBQs while they are freezing their extremities off in a British winter!). Pokies – Kiwi term for gaming machines, often found in pubs. Pom, or pommie – Term for English people, generally meant as an affectionate term when said by a Kiwi, as opposed to derogatory when an Aussie says it – or at least that’s what the Kiwis will tell you! Powhiri – A Maori welcome ceremony, sadly now dying out in modern NZ, but still used to mark formal occasions (sports events, business conferences etc). Q Queen’s Birthday – Celebrated as a holiday in NZ on the first Monday in June – though strangely this is not a holiday in the UK where the Queen actually lives. Not that much deference is given to Elizabeth 2 on this day in NZ – Kiwis just revel in having an extra day off to do some DIY! R Right-Turn Rule – A driving rule peculiar to NZ, which says you have to give way to an oncoming car if it wants to turn right as you prepare to turn right. This results in you hanging uncertainly on the corner of a road whilst the other driver assesses if you’ve actually remembered the right hand rule and are really going to stop for him. It’s apparently a major cause of road accidents in NZ, and many Kiwis (no doubt supported wholeheartedly by numerous Poms!) are campaigning to abolish the rule. Particularly confusing when you then drive in Australia, where the rule doesn’t exist. Rugby – OK, it’s the same word as we Brits use for the sport – but in NZ, it takes on a whole new meaning, with most Kiwis viewing their national sport almost as a religion. If you’re not familiar with the game, then a group of burly guys chasing an oval-shaped ball around a field might seem rather strange – but entertaining nonetheless. Even if you’re not a huge fan of the game, you’ll no doubt be familiar with the All Blacks (see ABs) – the hugely successful national team. S Scarfie – Kiwi word for a university student - particularly associated with students in Dunedin, a hard-to-reach city in the very south of the South Island. (Unless you have a reason to go there, you may occasionally see the city on the national TV news if they get bad weather, but that’s about it). Sheds – The most likely place to find a Kiwi guy on a Sunday afternoon, pottering and tinkering in his private space (think “garage” but with more organised clutter). She’ll be right – Common colloquial expression in NZ, meaning everything will be ok, it’s not a problem – though who “she” is, remains a mystery… Silver Fern - Worn by many Kiwi sports teams, including the world-famous All Blacks, this emblem is proudly flown at sporting events to represent NZ all over the world. The Silver Ferns is also the name for the NZ Netball Team (netball being a very popular sport in NZ - unlike in the UK, where it is simply associated with miserable, rain-sodden games lessons at school) Sir Ed – Affectionate name for Sir Edmund Hillary, arguably NZ’s most famous person ever - largely for being the first climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest (back in 1953). Held in huge respect by Kiwis, he’s a beekeeper, mountaineer, explorer, aid worker, and ambassador - and his face appears on the Kiwi $5 note. “Sweet-as” – Endearing and very common Kiwi expression - we Poms would say “great” or maybe “cool” or “fine”. Other similar Kiwi expressions include “Choice!” (excellent, great idea!), “ Beaut!” or “Beauty!” (bloody fantastic!) and “Good as gold” (no worries, not a problem). T Tall Poppy Syndrome – While New Zealand prides itself on being more egalitarian than Britain, there’s an inverse snobbery known as Tall Poppy Syndrome, in which people who are seen as over-ambitious and having ideas above their station are cut down to size. (At the same time, because New Zealanders often have to relocate to achieve worldwide fame and fortune, Kiwis are surprisingly keen to claim famous people as being successful Kiwis, however short their residency in NZ might have been. The pop groups Crowded House and Split Enz, the race horse Phar Lap and actors Sam Neill and Russell Crowe have been claimed both by Aussies and by Kiwis as theirs). Tipping – As in, don’t do it – beware, this term means nothing in Kiwi Land! Contrary to being the done thing in the UK and elsewhere, it’s not obligatory to tip taxi drivers, waiters and porters in NZ. If you do, expect to be greeted with a strange “You’re not from round here, are you?” look, and quietly withdraw your surplus cash. Trademe (.co.nz) – NZ’s biggest online bring and buy sale, the Kiwi answer to eBay. You can buy or sell anything from a used sock to a new business. Often helps to advertise that the item for sale has been used by an All Black or other famous Kiwi - which instantly boosts the cost by thousands. Tui – A bird and a beer! This indigenous NZ bird is black and green, rather like a parrot. Male tuis can be very territorial, chasing all other birds regardless of size from the area with loud flapping and sounds akin to swearing. Not dissimilar to the after-effects of a night on the Tui (the beer, that is). TVNZ – The country’s national television station, and the nearest thing NZ has to a public service channel like the BBC. On the upside, Poms revel in having no TV licence to pay in NZ – on the downside, they have to get used to there being no ad-free channels, and to seeing lots of familiar British shows getting repeats on Kiwi TV. Strangely, the UK’s beloved soap Coronation Street (or “Corrie”, as the Brits call it) is one of the most popular shows in NZ, despite having no obvious relevance to the life of Kiwis (who call it “Coro”). U Ute – Van with an open back for carrying tools, furniture or hyperactive dogs. V Vegemite – Popular Kiwi pantry staple, similar to Marmite but in a strange yellowish container that makes it look more like glue. (Could explain the sandwiches – or “sammies” as Kiwis call them - sticking to the roof of the mouth, though!) W Waitangi Day – NZ’s national day, marking 6th February 1840 when the Treaty of Waitangi (between the Maori and the Crown) was signed. From the British point of view, 'The Treaty' (as Kiwis often call it) justified making NZ a British colony. Today it‘s generally considered the founding point of NZ as a nation. Warehouse – Chain of huge cut-price stores “where everyone gets a bargain”. Every Pom’s staple for kitting out the new NZ abode, as it’s cheaper than chips and has everything under one roof from staple-guns to kids’ toys. Watties – Kiwi version of Heinz, it’s on everything from baked beans to soup. Welly – Affectionate term for NZ’s capital city, Wellington (also known as “Windy Wellington”). Its claim to fame is as the most southerly capital in the world, and on a windy day when gales gust to 120kph it certainly feels like it! With a population of about 180,000, the city has a remarkably compact “village” feel – everyone knows everyone, so it’s not a good place to make enemies! New arrivals will marvel at the houses perched precariously on the sides of Welly’s many hills – not to mention those built alarmingly close to the water’s edge right around the harbour. Wellywood – Nickname for the Wellington suburb of Miramar which is home to NZ’s thriving film industry. Director Peter Jackson (PJ) has been largely responsible for the growth of the area, and still owns a house in the region – so if you want to mingle with the great and good of the Kiwi film & TV industry, this is the place to live. Weta – Scary giant insect, that looks like a large grasshopper or small lobster, depending on your point of view. Whilst there are no critters in NZ that can kill you as such (unlike Australia), a weta can give you a tears-inducing nip if accidentally disturbed. Also the name of NZ’s famous special effects company, based in Wellywood, which won many Oscars for its work on Lord of the Rings and King Kong. Whanau – Pronounced “far-now”, widely-used Maori word for “family”. WOF — Nothing to do with dogs, the Warrant of Fitness is the vehicle roadworthiness test, similar to the British MOT - except that it’s required 6-monthly (as opposed to yearly) for vehicles more than 6 years old. X X-treme Sports – Kiwis pride themselves on inventing increasingly dangerous ways to thrill-seek – see Bungy, for example. NZ is the birthplace of Zorbing, the practice of climbing into a large plastic bubble and plunging headlong down a steep hill in it, often with a bucket of cold water sloshing around inside the ball. Rotorua is currently the only place in NZ where you can attempt this stomach-churning feat. Y Yarn – As in “to have a yarn”. Quaint but common little phrase meaning “to have a chat”. The term “yack”, as in “to have a yack” is also widely used with the same meaning. (Kiwis like to chat!). Z Zild, Noo:
Correct Kiwi pronunciation of “New Zealand”. The Kiwi accent often causes
difficulties for the Pommie newcomer, but is easily perfected over time.
Repeat after me: “Fush and chups” (fish and chips) - not to be confused
with the Aussie “Feesh and cheeps”. When you can say all the words and
phrases above with the correct Noo Zild accent, you will know that you
have become a true Kiwi.
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My
wife and I finally made it through the lengthy, nerve-wracking hassle of
immigrating to Australia . . . largely because we were fortunate enough
to find one of the top five immigration lawyers in Australia, David Stratton.
I was so thankful for making it
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that we create an e-book that delivers answers to the most frequently
asked questions about migration to Australia . . . and that provides
a clear, concise explanation of everything you need to know about
immigrating here.!
