As a Brit emigrating to New Zealand three years ago, the language was never going to be a problem ... or was it? As this Pom quickly discovered, Kiwis have a vocabulary all their own to describe their world. For sure, it’s all English – but the way Kiwis use the language (often referred to as “New Zild”) reveals a heck of lot about their lifestyle, culture and attitudes. After reading many “po-faced” guides to New Zealand which didn’t capture the essence of the country at all, I decided that compiling an A to Z of “Kiwi speak” would be a great way to look at the differences I’ve encountered in settling in the country.  Having canvassed opinion from many other expat Brits in NZ, I’ve collected together the peculiarly Kiwi words and expressions that Poms seem to feel best define the country.  Interestingly, many of them do not translate across the Tasman to Australia! As well as providing an insight into Kiwis and their everyday life, I hope this will also be a useful practical handbook on how to communicate with the locals…!   A ABs – Local term for the much revered All Blacks rugby team - a formidable power in international rugby union, and so called because of the black kit worn by the team. In NZ, they have a following equivalent to the Manchester United football team in the UK – but the ABs are far more masculine!   (See also Rugby) Aotearoa – Maori name for NZ and impossible for Poms to pronounce (too many vowels!), it means literally “Land of the Long White Cloud”. Some Kiwis also call their homeland “Godzone”, a corruption of “God’s Own Country” – a mark of just how proud they are of their native land. Aussies – Australians, arch rivals of the Kiwis, especially in sport. However, this doesn’t stop the Kiwis using Australia as their number one holiday destination. Many Poms see the Aussies as the “poor man’s Kiwis” – in much the same way as Canadians are viewed in comparison to North Americans. B Bach – Pronounced “batch”, not “bark” like the famous composer. A Kiwi icon – a small holiday home, usually near the beach, of simple construction, usually with only one or two rooms. The Kiwi’s answer to camping, the idea is to “rough it” with some basic essentials whilst getting “at one” with nature.     (See also Crib.) Barbie – A Kiwi institution shared with the Aussies, the practice of cooking vast amounts of assorted animals over charcoal or gas out in the open air. They’re often big social occasions – so if you want to really get to know Kiwis, get invited to a barbie. Beehive – The local term for the NZ Parliament building in Wellington, so-called because it looks like a beehive - though many Wellingtonians think it actually looks more like an alien spacecraft. Built in 1981, it sits awkwardly on the edge of the capital’s CBD, and in comparison with the grandeur of London’s Houses of Parliament, to the British eye it seems an unworthy venue for the national seat of government. Bring a plate – Sometimes seen on invitations to social gatherings, this constitutes a request that people should come with a plate-full of food, because catering isn’t provided. Many new arrivals in New Zealand have misunderstood and turned up with simply an empty plate - but only once!

RESOURCE LINKS FOR NEW ZEALAND About Moving to New Zealand New Zealand comes to the fore in countries you might want to consider if you want to "Escape from America.”  Not only is the country beautiful in a physical sense but many of the problems being encountered in the U.S. today are simply not present in New Zealand.  - Links - articles - migration resources - helpful contacts. Articles on Living & Investing in New Zealand Articles On Living & Investing in New Zealand. Banks in New Zealand See banks of New Zealand at our Banks of Asia section. Pacific Islands Index A complete directory of the Pacific Islands. Business & Economy for New Zealand Including real estate and banks. Embassies Resources of New Zealand Embassy websites of New Zealand Embassies around the world. Embassies of other nations to New Zealand - All new and updated daily with websites & addresses to Embassies & Consulates. Links, links & more links for New Zealand Including Search Engines for New Zealand. Employment - Jobs in New Zealand International Jobs Resources for expatriates & those seeking a life overseas, New Zealand. Hospitals in New Zealand Hospitals Around The World by Region. Maps of New Zealand Maps of New Zealand - Our own Embassy maps plus a large number of differing New Zealand maps, also including city maps. Newspapers & Media for New Zealand Media & News Resources for New Zealand Newspapers, magazines, online resources and news channels with current New Zealand information. Real Estate in New Zealand Real Estate In New Zealand - Current real estate listings of properties in New Zealand. New Zealand Travel A concise travel directory. Retirement Planning for Offshore Living The advantages of outsourcing your retirement have never been better!

Buzzy Bee – Iconic Kiwi toy, a brightly-painted yellow and red wooden bee. As you pull the toy, Buzzy Bee’s wings rotate, making a distinctive loud clicking sound. For generations of New Zealanders, the Buzzy Bee was and is an icon of NZ childhood. Even six-month old Prince William got one when he and his parents toured NZ back in 1983.

C

Chips, or Chippies – We Brits know them as “crisps” but that word will draw blank looks from your average Kiwi. Don’t expect chipped, fried potatoes when you ask for chips in NZ – you’ll get crisps. And if you want fried potatoes, you’ve got to ask for “fries”, American-style. Got it?!

City of Sails – Affectionate term for Auckland, referring to the fact that its picturesque harbour is often dotted with hundreds of yachts –it’s said to have more per capita than any other city in the world. Auckland is not the capital of NZ, as many foreigners mistakenly think - though it is NZ’s largest city, with a population of around 1.2 million. Whilst many Poms are drawn to its temperate climate and big city feel, they’re often not ready for the traffic jams that frequently plague the city, particularly in rush hour – though they’ll be amused at how much it aggravates the Kiwis, since it’s nowhere near as bad as gridlocked London or Manchester. 
(See also JAFAs).

Crib – (See also Bach). Not a baby’s bed, but the South Island term for a holiday home, usually by the sea. The fact that more than one word exists for these quintessentially Kiwi abodes tells you just what an institution they are.

Crook – Not a criminal as in the UK, but the Kiwi word for “sick” or “poorly”. So if a Kiwi asks you if you’re “crook”, don’t be offended – it’s your health they’re concerned about, not your character!

D

Dairy – Ubiquitous corner shops that are open all hours. Despite their quaint name, they’re usually stocked with a vast array of consumables for that emergency shopping trip – albeit at twice the price of their supermarket counterparts.

Dave Dobbyn – NZ’s much treasured Kiwi singer and musician who came up with NZ’s “alternative national anthem” Slice Of Heaven. Any Pom who knows it immediately goes up hugely in the estimation of a Kiwi colleague.

Ditch, The —Kiwi slang for the Tasman Sea, the "ditch" separating New Zealand and Australia. Almost always used in the phrase "across the ditch", meaning Australia.

“Dob in” – We Poms would say “shop (to the police)” (as in a criminal). Often used in the phrase “Dob in the bastards” (note: Kiwis don’t have the same stigma attached to the word “bastard” as the English, it’s far more acceptable in everyday Kiwi speak).

Dub Dub Dub – Why say “worldwide web” or “double-yoo double-yoo double-yoo” when you can just say “dub dub dub” like the Kiwis?!

E

Eh? – An ubiquitous word used for emphasis at the end of a sentence - a peculiarly Kiwi linguistic “tic” which seems to invite automatic agreement with whatever they’re saying.

EFTPOS – Streets ahead of the UK technologically, Kiwi is the ultimate money-less society and has been using Electronic Funds Transfer at Point Of Sale for years. You can pay for just a cup of coffee (around 3 Kiwi dollars) using EFTPOS, so no need to worry about being short of loose change again. The downside of this is in bars, when there’s no excuse for not buying a round because you’re out of cash…!

F

Fush n chups – The Kiwi way of saying “fish and chips”. Familiar to anyone from British seaside towns, this is a Friday night staple in NZ – though the fish tends to be fresher than in the UK.

“Fresh off the boat” – Affectionate Kiwi term applied to foreigners who’ve recently arrived on their shores to live in NZ. The term is a nod to the fact that NZ is completely made up of people from somewhere else: meaning there’s no such thing as a “pure” Kiwi. Scottish, Irish, Chinese, Indian, Dalmatian, Pacific Islander, they’re all here, so “fresh off the boat-ers” should in theory feel right at home….

G

Garden City – Kiwi name for Christchurch, largest city on the South Island (and second largest in NZ after Auckland, with a population of about 300,000). It’s the place to go for a slice of “mini England”, right down to the River Avon that flows through the city. Memories of old Blighty will come flooding back as you watch people gliding down the river in punts (think Oxford or Cambridge) or wander the streets seeing red phone boxes, school children in blazers, oaks and weeping willows and the gothic cathedral in the town centre.

Gidday – Common Kiwi greeting, mostly used by men. Interestingly, the equivalent Brit greeting “Hiya” invariably receives the response “I’m fine” from a Kiwi – who always hears it as “How are ya?” rather than simply a salutary “hi”.

Gummies or gumboots – Brits will recognize these as rubber Wellington boots or “wellies”, but they’re far more widely worn in NZ, particularly by men who often match them with shorts - a distinctive male Kiwi fashion combo.
 

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Haka – Scary-looking Maori war dance involving lots of chanting, foot stamping and aggressive facial expressions. Performed at lots of official functions – notably by the All Blacks rugby team before matches – but also for example to welcome distinguished visitors or foreign dignitaries to show just how important an occasion it is.

Hokey pokey – Kiwis’ favourite ice cream flavour (toffee pieces in vanilla ice cream)

Hongi – Maori tradition of pressing noses when greeting, still used at traditional gatherings and ceremonies. The idea is to exchange the “breath of life” upon meeting. But this gesture can be quite a trial for we reserved British types, who do not like sharing close physical proximity with strangers. Not be confused with “hangi” (BBQ or cooking in the open air).

Hoon – Kiwi word usually referring to young adults with fast cars, stereos and alcohol…in the UK, we call them “boy racers”.

Hot dog – Not the sausage in a bun scenario we’re used to in England, but in NZ a sausage that is deep-fried in batter, skewered on a long thick wooden stick, then dipped in tomato ketchup or curry sauce

I

Interislander – Ferry that sails daily between the North Island and South Island across the formidable Cook Strait. It features on many Kiwi news bulletins for being constantly beset by mechanical problems, or getting caught in stormy 8-metre swells - a good advertisement for taking the plane instead!

J

JAFAs – Nothing to do with Jaffa oranges or Jaffa cakes (neither of which can be found in NZ, sadly), this is actually an insult for a resident of Auckland – short for Just Another F***-ing Aucklander. Interestingly, no such insult exists for residents of Wellington, Christchurch or Dunedin…

Jandals – Kiwi word for “flip flops”(Aussies call them “thongs” - not to be confused with back-less knickers). Much more widely worn than in Britain (largely due to the more clement climate) and not just confined to the beach, they’re often sported in the workplace even in the winter months.

Java – Widely-used word for coffee, an absolute staple of the Kiwi diet. Don’t even think about making an instant, especially in public – you’ll be laughed out of the joint. Coffee houses abound, with most serving a perplexing array of freshly-ground javas that leave powdered Nescafe in the dust. But don’t worry, you’ll be blithely ordering a “long black” or “flat white” with the best of ‘em before too long. 

K

Kia ora – Commonly heard Kiwi greeting (not the soft fruit cordial drink we Poms know from childhood in England), a Maori term meaning “welcome” but used generally to mean “hello”.

Kiri, Dame – Kiri Te Kanawa, NZ’s most famous opera singer. Seen more often abroad than in NZ, invariably singing her heart out at big sporting ceremonies.

Kiwi – A catch-all term for the people, the bird, the fruit, and anything New Zealand. Unlike the Kiwi people, you’ll be lucky to see the endangered flightless nocturnal Kiwi bird in the flesh – you’ll have to go to a zoo at night.

L

Listener – A Kiwi magazine institution - read it to get the low-down on what makes intelligent Kiwis tick.

L & P - Lemon and Paeroa, NZ’s most famous soft drink. It was invented in 1904 after its maker tasted some mineral water near the town of Paeroa and mixed it with lemon to make it more refreshing. Still popular throughout NZ today.

Lollies – Generic Kiwi term for sweets or candies. Unlike in Britain, the word applies to all varieties of sweets, not just confectionery on a stick.

Lord of the Rings – The iconic movie trilogy that put NZ well and truly on the international map, after the release of the first film in 2001. The movies were so successful that they prompted plane-loads of tourists to flock to NZ to see the locations featured –even though half the sets no longer existed by the time they arrived. Happily, Hobbiton still exists, in the rural town of Matamata (about 2 hours’ drive south of Auckland), where you can go and have your photo taken in Bilbo Baggins’ hobbit hole.     (See also PJ).

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