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Montevideo,
Uruguay: Diary of an Ex-Pat
By Southron
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.August
2006
The
First Month is Always the Hardest....
March 2,
2006
First, a few
facts. (If you are among the cognoscenti, you can skip the next paragraphs.)
Uruguay is
in South America. It is on the Atlantic Ocean south of Brazil and
North of Argentina. It is not connected to Paraguay, which lies North
of Uruguay with a big piece of Argentina in between. Uruguay is about
the size of Washington State, and a bit smaller than England and Scotland
combined. It has a population of approximatelly 3.5 million, which
is a bit smaller than Costa Rica. More than two thirds of the people
live in Montevideo and the Atlantic littoral. The rest are thinly
scattered through the rest of the country, which is largely agricultural.
The language
here is Spanish, but with Portuguese and Italian influences. Both
here and in Buenos Aires, Argentina (130 miles up the Rio de la Plata)
they pronounce the Spanish double L, "ll" as "sh" -- they do the same with
the "y" when it is a consonant. For example, the word "I -- Yo" would
be pronounced "show" and the word "key -- llave" is pronounced "shah-vay".
One interesting
fact: Uruguay has the second greatest reserves of water, per capita,
in the world, after Canada.
For the researchers
among you, check out:
www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/index
http://lcweb2.loc.gov/frd/cs/uytoc.html
http://countrystudies.us/uruguay/
After living
in the West Indies, former Yugoslavia and Costa Rica, Uruguay seems normal.
Montevideo is a city of about 1.5 million people. It is a combination
of old and new, rather like Florida's St. Augustine. It is at the
same relative latitude as the North Carolina Capes - the climate is perfect
for me. On average it goes below freezing about 2.5 days/year and
above 90F/32C only 6 days per year. As we all know, the Good Lord
did not intend fat men in wheelchairs to live where it is hot!
The entire
city of Montevideo is bordered on the south by beautiful wide white
beaches. The water colour and waves remind me more of the Gulf of
Mexico, than the Atlantic. Officially, the beaches are on the Rio
de la Plata, or River of Silver, but don't be fooled, the River here is
more than 65 miles across - more like Delaware Bay than a river - and widens
to officially transform into the Atlantic not too many miles from here.
Arriving:
The two dogs
and I landed at Carrasco International Airport in Montevideo, at 1pm (10am
Miami time) after an 8.5 hour nonstop flight from Miami. As I understand
it, almost all flights between this part of South America and the US start
at night and arrive in the morning, going both directions. For those
who can sleep on planes it is great. I did.
The airport
was pretty modern, but with few bridges directly to planes. There
was a mobile stairway for our plane. However, since there were people
on the plane in wheelchairs, they brought up a special truck with a room
on a scissors lift. It was raised to the airplane door opposite the
stairway, we rolled onto it, the room lowered, the truck drove us to the
terminal, and we were deposited at ground level via a special lift on the
truck. I was impressed! I was even more impressed when they
had a big brawny man get behind my wheelchair and take me through immigration,
baggage claim, customs and to a waiting van Copperhead, my business partner,
had arranged for me. usually they assign a 90 pound woman wo can't
push the chair without me in it, much less the half-ton load I add.
Immigration
didn't ask me any questions, but did welcome me to Uruguay. The veterinary
official looked at the dogs' health papers and cleared them both in less
than a minute. Customs opened one bag - with my desktop computer
- and then waved me through. All of that was accomplished within
45 minutes of the plane touching down.
Contrary to
my impressions from afar, a high percentage of people speak some English.
Between their English and my limited Spanish, we do pretty well.
If it gets intricate, Copperhead comes to the rescue. If he is not
available, I break out my PDA with its Spanish-English dictionary and work
my way through it.
Copperhead
had two vans organized. One took Lucy the German Shepherd to a veterinarian
for a few days, and the other took me, Harry, Copperhead and 5 big suitcases
to the
Pablo Figari
Best Western Hotel on the beach in Carrasco. The trip only took 15
minutes, but it gave me my first view of Montevideo's wide, wellkept and
tree lined streets.
The hotel room
was $70/night including breakfast. The room was small, in the European
style, but was well appointed and the bathroom was of a goodly size.
A huge "Milanesa", a steak breaded and covered with ham and cheese, was
under U$S4.00 from room service.
Comment on
currency symbols: Uruguayans use the $ sign for their Uruguayan Pesos
(UYU), which are about 24 to the US Dollar. Consequently, when you
see $ on UY websites, it means Pesos, not Dollars. Dollars are usually
denominated as U$S. Argentina is similar, but the exchange rate there
is 3 Argentine Pesos per U$S1.
Buenos Aires
in neighbouring in next door Argentina is a big city with about
13 million people in the metropolitan area. It is 45 minutes by commuter
plane, or 3 hours by fast Ferry, the Buquebus, from Montevideo. As
far as I can tell, the relationship between Buenos Aires and Montevideo
is roughly similar to that of New York City and New Jersey, respectively.
After 4 nights
in the hotel, we moved into the new house only two blocks away and just
across the road from the beach.
March 4, 2006
Last night
we had our first real taste of customer service in a semi-emergency.
It was pouring
rain when the main circuit breaker shut off - and nothing we could
do would make it turn back on. So we got out the yellow pages and
called the very first electrician listed at 11PM on Friday night.
Carlos answered. Copperhead explained the problem. Carlos told
him that undoubtedly there was a major short circuit on one of the three
additional circuit boxes that was not letting the main breaker come back
on. We found these, turned them off and sure enough the main breaker
functioned normally. We followed instructions and found the bad circuit,
but still had intermittent problems. The cost, thus far: nothing.
Carlos just
visited us. It appears that some of the outside wiring is very bad.
As we are not seriously disrupted by one circuit being off, Carlos will
email us a proposal to fix everything, and will detail the cost,
so we can get it approved by the landlord. The cost after his visit:
still nothing.
I'm impressed.
This is the kind of problem that always turned into an expensive nightmare
in Costa Rica - I guess they haven't figured out how to "sock it to the
gringos yet"; maybe their culture is such that they never will.
Too easy -
too normal; I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
March 6,
2006
I can't take
it! Waiting for the other hob-nailed boot to drop is killing me!
If this keeps up I'm going to have to leave here because of the stress...of
waiting for the big "gotcha" that must be out there somewhere.
This morning,
the government-owned phone company, Antel, showed up as promised
and installed our two additional phone lines: amazing! The only downside
is that if you want more than one jack per line, you have to hire a private
contractor for the additional jacks.
Earlier in
the day, a 20-page tabloid size advertising flyer in full color was delivered
in the post. It was from the local 24 hour pharmacy chain.
It offered the usual gamut of items from lipstick to hemorrhoid treatment.
That, plus
free dial-up Internet access and even real street addresses is too much
to take.
The normalcy
is killing me. To paraphrase one of my readers, I'm waiting for the
"immigration police to kick in my door", or the transplanted Russian Mafia
to kidnap Harry, or something, anything that will burst this bubble of
seeming normalcy before I get suckered in again.
March 7,
2006
I'm relieved.
Something has finally gone wrong. The ADSL line will not be
installed today, probably will not be installed tomorrow, but may
be
installed Thursday. It figures that little things would go well and
the biggest thing would go poorly. The problem appears to be eerily
similar to Costa Rica in that even though we are getting our ADSL service
from Netgate, a private firm, the state phone company Antel, is still involved
because it comes to us on their landlines. -
Article
Continued Below - |
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....
- Article
Continued From Above -
According to
Netgate, Antel hasn't delivered the modem to them yet. We planned
on a second internet connection anyway, so today we'll order another one
directly from Antel and see how long that takes. We went with Netgate
first because we were told it had better customer service - perhaps we
were misinformed. In the meantime, we are still on dialup, but at
least we now each have our own line - and another line for voice calls.
That is some progress.
Follow-up on
the electrical problem: none. No word from the electrician
or the landlord - no crisis, so we're not pushing it too much, yet.
Apparently the spirit of 'mañana' is indeed alive away well here,
every though it has had a European face-lift.....
March 8,
2006
Maybe it was
more than just a face lift? I was truly relieved when things went
sideways yesterday. But yesterday late afternoon they went and got
better on me again, so I'm really confused now.
Yesterday the
landlord called and apologized for not getting back to us sooner - she
was trying to contact the electrician she always used and trusted.
He came last night and fixed things. Later last night, Netgate called
and said they would install the ADSL line today. They just did.
Next week a second ADSL will be installed from another company on
which we will use the VoIP phones exclusively. This improves quality
and also gives us two providers in case one is down. Now that things
are like they are supposed to be, I have to worry all over again.
Darn!
March 9,
2006
Two weeks
ago today I landed in Montevideo. Since that time Copperhead, my
business partner, and I have leased a house, installed phone lines,
acquired cell phones and had broadband internet installed. Business
bank accounts are in the works as well.
An interesting
observation occurred to me yesterday: in sharp contradistinction to Costa
Rica, this has all been done without an attorney or notary or the expense
connected thereto. Nothing took more than a passport and money.
Copperhead went into the phone company and came out with a working cell
phone. I cheered him on over a beer at the cafe across the
street.
Another difference
is the attitude towards time. After living in the West Indies for
a while I learned the system there: whatever time frame was promised
would really happen in the next higher time unit: 1 minute is really
1 hour, 1 hour is really 1 day, 1 day is really one week, etc.
I also figured
out the time rules in Costa Rica: there are none! If someone
is really considerate, they will ring you 45 minutes after they were supposed
to arrive to cancel or postpone. If they are from the government
telecoms, they will set an appointment and never show up; or they will
show up out of the blue and expect you to drop everything to accommodate
them.
Time here seems
to be understood in an Italianate mode: they try to be on time, but
sometimes things happen; and when things happen they are very, very sorry
and will do better next time: and they do.
Thus far, nothing
has slipped more than a day - which amazes me. I waited weeks for
telephones in Costa Rica and months for broadband.
This place
may really be "Eisenhower's America in Spanish". ¡Hasta luego!
March 16,
2006
Well, now
I'm really annoyed! It is becoming increasingly hard to remain skeptical
when everything is working properly.
Both ADSL lines
are working (all we did to the first line was reposition the wireless router);
the housekeeper has been coming in on time and doing a good job (at $2.10/hour
inclusive), and we've been able to buy everything we need locally.
On top of that McDonalds delivers, as do the local
mom &
pop food shops. They seem to have a fleet of kids on motorbikes;
and delivery usually takes no more than 10-15 minutes.
We even got
my big wheelchair refurbished locally--it needed new rear wheels.
( I can't imagine why.) It took 1 day and $190 including pickup and delivery.
(That is a good price anywhere.)
I even found
an Orthodox Church in Montevideo - what am I going to have left to complain
about on Sunday mornings.
March 20,
2006
This is supposed
to be one of the countries in the Undeveloped World, or is it now part
of the Less Developed World. Maybe the correct term now is the Development-Challenged
World. Third World fell out of vogue when the Second World, the Soviet
Empire, imploded. Anyway, everyone with good sense knows that there
is nothing anyone has that is better or more convenient that in the US,
right?
WRONG!
I hate shopping.
In particular, though I love their consumption, I hate buying groceries.
I rate it somewhere alongside inviting the Jehovah's Witnesses in for an
intellectual chat or going to a Mormon Coffee klatch, or a Baptist
Oktoberfest (I guess I've insulted enough people for now).
Long boring
rows of things you don't want, don't need or don't even have any idea for
what it could be used - that's grocery shopping. In Costa Rica, I
went once, in Montenegro, never. I have been once here and that is
enough.
Anyway, back
to the point. One can shop online for groceries here and they will
deliver them the next day! You can also check prices of various
items. Right now the Yankee Dollar (U$S or USD) will
buy 24.25 UY Pesos (UYU). Here are two links for grocery delivery
for you to review.
http://www.tinglesa.com.uy
http://www.multiahorro.com/entrada3.asp
Copperhead
and I personally prefer the first one, Tienda Inglesas.
Gotta go now.
Today we're buying rocks on which to beat the laundry in the stream out
back...
March 31,
2006
I think it
was about 02:30 this morning. I heard multiple gunshots in the street.
When I carefully peered out the front windows I saw either
troops or
paramilitary police in a large group lined up and down the street.
There was a helicopter overhead with searchlights…
…and then
I woke up. What a nightmare!
But living
here has decidedly NOT been a nightmare. It keeps on being…dare I
say it…normal.
This has been
our week for involvement with the government here at a couple of levels.
Yesterday we paid the quarterly property tax bill. Since the landlord
lives in Buenos Aires, our agreement is that we pay it and deduct it from
the rent. The amount was staggering $2880 for 3 months.
Don’t get
too shocked, remember, here the $ means Uruguayan Pesos. In Yankee
dollars it was only U$S120.00, a far more acceptable number.
Paying the
bill was very simple. In the local business district is a privately
operated bill paying shop, hardly more than a kiosk. Copperhead took
the tax bill in, they scanned the barcode on it, took his money, gave him
a receipt, and thanked him. Three minutes flat in and out the door.
(In a certain Central American Republic, which shall remain nameless, but
the initials of which are CR, that would have taken half the morning.)
Today, we paid
our corporate tax bill for our 1 year old Uruguay company. That set
us back a whopping U$S7.50 - we already had some extra money on deposit
with the accountant, so that didn’t even take any more effort than sending
and receiving emails.
Lastly, we
come to the post office—the bane of most people’s existence in the “development
challenged” (is it the 2nd, 3rd or 4th—I forget) world. I had ordered
4 books online from Amazon.com. They shipped them by post to me here.
It took only 9 days from the US. The postman
left notices
in the mailbox, which I signed. Copperhead took them to the local
post office, presented the signed notices, showed them his passport, collected
the boxes and came home. No duty, no endless forms, just “gracias
señor” and back into the street “immediamente”.
(In that previously
unnamed Central American Republic it took 4 hours and 4 trips between the
customs office and FedEx to collect 2 used golf shirts: total duty-U$S2.00,
total taxi fare-U$S75,00. In that same country the post office simply
refused and returned a package of winter clothes I had left behind in Serbia-Montenegro.)
Let me see,
we dealt with property tax, corporate income tax and the post office in
two days without even causing me to curse.
Gee, I miss
America…
A note about
Southron and Copperhead
My choice
of Southron as a pen name has come under considerable abuse.
* Southron is NOT the combination of Southerner and Moron;
* Southron is NOT a place;
* Southron is NOT synonymous with Southerner;
* Southron is NOT a word I made up.
Southron is
the term the citizens of the Confederate States of America applied to themselves
in contradistinction to Southerner. Someone from Kentucky was a Southerner,
but not a Southron. The antonym of Southron is, of course, damnyankee
(I was 14 before I found out it was 2 words--now I'm not sure it really
is). A Copperhead is a Northern born supporter of the Southron Cause.
I have bestowed this honorific on my long-suffering business partner.
Southron is
a philosophical and perhaps political statement, Southerner is geographically
descriptive. I use the word Southron to describe myself because,
like the Southrons of old, I believe the United States Government has betrayed
the constitutional principles on which it was based -I have therefore seceded,
but informally and personally - at least up to this point…
.
These are
excerpts from the journal of The Southron, an American Expatriate from
Florida who has spent the last decade living in the West Indies, former
Yugoslavia and Costa Rica. He moved to Montevideo, Uruguay at the
end of February 2006...see www.uruguayliving.com
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