"Re-virginification,” poisonous fruit, and other secrets of Malaysia’s steamy capital
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"Re-virginification,” poisonous fruit, and other secrets of Malaysia’s steamy capital
By Steenie Harvey
June 2006 US$1 equals 0.26 ringgits

Kuala Lumpur’s massive Chow Kit market assaults the senses, especially the eyes and nose.  Stalls are piled high with eggs, slaughtered poultry, and bloody chunks of meat.  There are luridly coloured Indian sweets, homemade cakes, and bulging-eyed fish.  Fruit stalls are a colourfest of tiny yellow finger bananas, green and orange mangoes, lychees, limes, and scarlet-skinned dragon fruit. 

One trader is selling slices of durian, a prickly brown fruit that can weigh up to 15 pounds.  Because of its reputedly foul smell (by all accounts, a cross between rutting billy goat, unwashed socks, overripe cheese, and a baby’s diaper), most hotels ban guests from bringing this fabled fruit inside their portals. I stop to sniff.  Maybe there’s something wrong with my nose, because it smells appetizing enough to me.  And it tastes delicious—like baked custard with a hint of almonds and cheese.

As I’m wiping splotches of durian off my blouse, a man with a cart bellows something incomprehensible.  I think he wants me to get out of the way.  The passageways between stalls are incredibly narrow—and slippery underfoot, too.  Back on the edge of the market, I cram myself into a cubbyhole selling pots and pans.  Maybe this guy can point me toward stall 129...

In between taking photos, I’ve been asking traders for directions for almost an hour now.  Most don’t know the number of their own stall, let alone where I can find the herbal remedy guy.  The New Sunday Times newspaper (in English) carried a great article about this outlet.  It didn’t explain how it worked, but one of the best-selling herbal concoctions is “mandi periuk,” a bath tonic whose ingredients include “the best plant for the re-virginification process.” 
That sounded interesting!  According to the paper, a bottle costs 20 ringgits ($5.30) and can be used up to 10 times.  Cheap at half that price, if it works...

Another best seller is “buah kecubung,” a small prickly fruit that’s poisonous, but can also induce altered states of consciousness.  Herbalists use it in massage oil to relieve muscle strains, but the report indicated some people tend to abuse it.

Purely in the interests of journalistic research, I was willing to try abusing it, too.  Unfortunately, I cannot tell you if either this high-as-a-kite fruit or the plant for the re-virginification process works.  When I eventually locate Stall 129, it’s completely empty of both trader and products. 

Has business been so brisk that the guy packed up early?  Or did he get chased out of town after the newspaper article?  Like “re-virginified” women and mind-altering substances, I can’t imagine that selling plants for the “mystical craft of returning an evil spell to the sender” impresses Muslim Malaysia’s moral guardians. 

Exploring the “Muddy Junction”
Home to 1.5 million inhabitants, Kuala Lumpur is Malaysia’s steamy capital.  And I mean steamy—humidity is around 80% year-round.  Maybe because its name translates as “Muddy Junction,” it isn’t as high profile among travelers as other Asian capitals.  To be frank, it’s hard to pin down the city’s identity. Of course, that could be down to the diversification of its people, mostly Malays, Indians, and Chinese, but with an assortment of Western expats. 

Known as “KL” to residents, Kuala Lumpur follows no straightforward architectural blueprint.  Dominated by the twin Petronas Towers, that glow an eerie white at night, the city center is getting a new skyline of gleaming high-rises.  But along with the mosques and the Hindu and Buddhist temples, the mock Tudor buildings from the British colonial era haven’t been obliterated. 

Contradictions are everywhere.  Only steps away from broad, tree-lined avenues are narrow lanes with crumbling shop houses and rats scurrying down the gutter.  Going out toward the suburb of Ampang, there are some lovely residential developments—but the train also provides unedifying views of some of the worst slum apartments I’ve ever seen. 

In KL’s “Golden Triangle” (between Jalan Sultan Ismail, Jalan Bukit Bintang, and Jalan Ampang), you can spend a small fortune in the five-star restaurants of luxury hotels.  Alternatively, sampling the Chinese hawker food from the sidewalk eateries that string Jalan Alor only costs a couple of dollars.  In the city’s air-conditioned shopping malls—some like the Suria KLCC and the Mid Valley Megamall are so vast you need a map to get around—prices are almost at Western levels.  But go to districts like Chinatown, Little India, and the streets around Chow Kit Market and you’ll find plenty of clothing bargains.  Of course, the “designer” labels won’t be real.

Here you’ll also find modern theaters, orchestra recitals, and multiplex cinemas; private international-standard hospitals and Western-trained dentists who’ll fill a tooth (or pull one out) for less than $15.  An array of museums and art galleries, a planetarium and the National Science Center with interactive displays for kiddies add interest too. 

And the Batu Caves are just a short bus or taxi ride from KL.  During the Hindu Thaipurisam festival, around one million pilgrims flock to the cave’s temples. To find favour with the gods, a number partake in tortuous practices that include piercing their bodies with hooks and skewers and walking on broken glass. Dates change every year, but the festival is normally around the end of January.

All of this is contradictory indeed.  I suppose that at face value, KL does a pretty good impression of being a First World city.  On the other hand, places like the hellish Puderjaya bus station are evidence that it’s still the capital of a developing country.  That said, it feels a safe city…so just walk the streets and soak it all in.

City-center living in KLCC
Malaysians love their acronyms, and KLCC is the usual shorthand for Kuala Lumpur City Centre.  Robert Ang of Rahim & Co says there’s been a big resurgence in city-center living.  If you’d visited KLCC even five years ago, you’d have seen few high-end apartment residences.  Among both foreigners and middle- and upper-class Malaysians, the trend was to move away from the city centre. 

This is no longer the case.  New developments are springing up everywhere, and demand seems strong.  I was told of one development where you can only invest by private invitation!  Most buyers have seen values rise by at least 15% to 20% in the past couple of years.  Rental yields are in the region of 5% to 10%, with an average return of around 7%.

KLCC prices are mostly in the $140 to $240 per square foot range.  Investors who bought into one new luxury property called the Duo Residence have seen gains of 20% in 12 months—the building isn’t due for completion until the middle of 2006.  Apartments here range from 550 ringgits to 800 ringgits ($146 to $212) per square foot. 

One of the most prestigious planned residences is The Troika, in the Golden Triangle.  Designed by internationally-renowned architect Norman Foster, this three-towered “super-condo” residence is expected to be completed in 2009. Average prices are $244 per square foot.  With the smallest living space area at 2,045 square feet, that equates to almost $500,000.  Pricy for KL, but this truly is designer architecture—and wealthy Malaysians like their brand names 

But you don’t have to pay those prices for a smaller home in the smart part of KLCC.  A hundred thousand will buy a 700-square-foot apartment in a residence called Bidara 38, close to Bintang Walk and Times Square.  Units of this size rent for around $583 to $662 monthly. 

Regarding legalities, foreigners are permitted to buy only one property, which, in KL, must be valued at more than 250,000 ringgits ($66,000).  Realistically, you’re unlikely to find anything you’d want to live in—or invest in—at this price.  A two-bedroom apartment of around 1,200 square feet in a desirable expat area will more likely cost around$132,000. 

At the very minimum, don’t expect to find two-bedroom “comfort level” apartments for less than $93,000.  Most properties are sold freehold and Mr. Ang says it’s possible for foreigners to get financing of up to 60%.  If you’re nonresident in Malaysia, you must pay a flat rate tax of 28% on rental income after deductions for repairs, management fees, and so on.

Apart from super luxury residences, running an average-size apartment is likely to cost approximately $212 monthly.  As water costs are around $10 a month, the bulk of your outgoing costs will probably comprise air conditioning and management fees.  Depending on the development and quality of management, monthly charges can be anywhere from 4 cents to 13 cents per square foot. (For a 1,200-square-foot apartment, costs are generally between $48 and $156.) 

Suburbia
Most foreigners are in Kuala Lumpur for work rather than an alternative lifestyle.  Single people generally prefer proximity to the city centre; families still usually look to the suburbs, a number of which have private international schools.  Accommodation choices range from colonial-style houses and bungalows to skyscrapers and low-density condo residences with pools, gyms, and tennis courts.

East of the city, favoured expat neighbourhoods include Ampang, Ukay Heights, Taman TAR, and U-Thant.  I spent an afternoon viewing properties for sale and rent around Ampang with Jaslym Sim of Richmond Realty.  Five miles from KLCC, Ampang is like a self-contained city with restaurants, shopping malls, and plenty of entertainment choices.  Many foreign embassies are here, too—and up in the hills, so are roaming troops of macaque monkeys.

Desa Palma is an attractive low-rise condo residence.  (No monkeys, but I did glimpse a squirrel-type creature in the trees beside the pool.)  Prices here average $146 per square foot.  A 1,300-square-foot apartment here would command a monthly rent of around $1,190.

Individual homes are generally built on the large scale.  With a built-up area of 4,000 square feet, one Ampang home is priced at a negotiable $583,000.  It rents for $2,650 monthly.  As pointed out earlier, foreigners in KL are generally on working assignments and often on the “expat package.”  It’s their companies that pick up the accommodation tab.  However, for the price, I wasn’t overly impressed.  As a security measure, the garden walls were adorned with jagged glass.  I couldn’t get a straight answer as to whether there was an intruder problem with more isolated properties.
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The area west of KLCC includes the suburbs of Bangsar, Damansara Heights, Mont Kiara, and the satellite town of Petaling Jaya—also known as “PJ.” Bangsar is particularly popular with expats as it has a variety of restaurants, Western-style pubs, supermarkets, and shopping centers.  But malls are all over the western suburbs—the Sunway Pyramid is one of the largest, and The Curve even boasts an IKEA. 

A favourite with both locals and expats, Sri Penaga is one of Bangsar’s top condo developments.  Facilities include a gym, squash and tennis courts, a resort-style swimming pool, a BBQ area, and children’s play area.  Prices start from $252,000 for a 1,200-square-foot apartment, which you could rent furnished for $1,325 per month. Management charges are around $112 monthly. 

Less expensive Bangsar alternatives—but still considered top-end—include Casa Vista, where 1,200-square-foot apartments start at $132,500.   Furnished apartments of that size here generally rent for around $800 monthly.  However, you’re not paying much less in monthly management fees—around $106.

Mont Kiara has international schools offering both British and American syllabi.  Properties range from a 1,070-square-foot unit in the Sophia Mozart Tower for $148,000 to $477,000 for a 2,580-square-foot apartment in the Damai Residence.

Another fairly exclusive expat area is Kenny Hills, Northwest of KLCC.  I never got out there, but Jaslym Sim says square-foot prices are generally in the $172 to $186 range.

Beware the crooked taxi drivers...and the manic motorcyclists.
KL has an excellent monorail/light rail transit system.  Use it whenever possible.  I don’t know whether it was due to rotten luck, but just about every taxi driver seemed intent on ripping me off.  Rather than use the meter (and they’re legally obliged to do so), they’ll try and get you to accept a flat fare—and it’s always more than twice what it would be on the meter. 
Whether Malay, Chinese, Indian—every taxi driver seem as crooked as the next.  And some are downright incompetent.  One morning I had a meeting with a real estate agent.  Despite having the address written down, I wasn’t just taken to the wrong building—I was dropped off on the wrong road. 
Another annoyance is the city planners’ complete disregard for pedestrians.  There are few crossing walks—and where there are any, the pedestrian signals seem purely decorative.  From my experience, they serve no functional purpose whatsoever.  And just when you think it’s safe to cross, a stream of motorcyclists who have no intention of braking will zoom around a corner.  Incidentally, Malaysia follows the British system of driving on the left.
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Where to stay in KL. I doubt you’ll find better value than the Swiss Garden Hotel (117 Jalan Pudu).  It’s by no means top-end, but it’s not backpacker hell either.  The clientele is mostly middle-class Malaysians and Western travellers seeking value rather than luxury facilities.
Booked through www.precisionreservations.com doubles cost an equivalent $59 nightly. 

The location is great.  It’s within walking distance of Times Square mall; a couple of blocks across the road is Jalan Alor with its open-air Chinese hawker-style restaurants, where meals cost less than $3. (I ate here twice and suffered no ill effects.)  The Golden Triangle is only a couple of stops away on the monorail—if you stay at the Swiss Garden, pick it up at Imbi and get off at the Bukit Bintang stop.  For the Petronas Towers and the Suria mall, Bukit Nanas is the handiest stop.

Weekend getaways. Not even counting the rest of Asia, KL’s residents have a fabulous choice of vacation escapes within Malaysia itself.  There are frequent flights to the tropical islands of Penang and Langkawi.   The historical port town of Malacca is within a three-hour drive—and Singapore is only a little further down the south coast highway.  Due to the cooler hill-station climate, the Cameron Highlands are popular with weekend golfers looking to tee off among the tea plantations and strawberry farms. 

With around 60% of Malaysia under rainforest, there are also plenty of opportunities for trekking and wildlife spotting in National Parks—the best known in Peninsular Malaysia is Taman Negara.  Even more jungly are the states of Sabah and Sarawak, which form Malaysian Borneo.  If you’ve ever wanted to see orangutans—and meet former head-hunters who live in jungle long-houses—Borneo provides the thrill of a lifetime.  It makes a wonderful vacation add-on from KL. 

Landed properties.
Rahim & Co says landed properties remain a solid buy.  The house I saw in Ampang came with 7,450 square feet of garden, but this is small compared to some properties. With prices generally starting upward of $1 million, quite a number of homes come with more than 20,000 square feet of green space. 

Including a “luxury home” and land, values among the wide shady avenues of U-Thant are in the $53 to $80 square-foot range.  This is KL’s diplomatic enclave with fairly close proximity to the city centrere.  In the upmarket suburb of Damansara Heights West of the city, landed properties are fetching $66 to $93 a square foot.

Mr. Ang says his company expects capital values for landed properties to grow at a stable rate, probably between 10% to 15% this coming year.
Rahim & Co Real Estate Agents (Mr. Robert Ang, Managing Director); Level 17 Menara Uni Asia, 1008 Jalan Sultan Ismail, 50250 Kuala Lumpur; tel. (603)2691-9907; e-mail: robertang@rahim-co.com  website: www.rahim-co.com  (This agency has a tie-in with the British agency Savills, who are very well respected.)
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For more information about anything you have read in this article, write to Webeditor@InternationalLiving.com
Richmond Realty (Jaslyn Sim, Principal); E05-02 Blk E, 2nd Floor, Dataran Palma, Jalan Selaman 1/2, 68000 Ampang; e-mail: richreal@tm.net.my  website: www.propertylookout.com
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