| RG:
Thirty-two pages is one thing, 300 some-odd pages is very different. Also,
my ex-husband is a very very private person, and I couldn’t start the book
without talking about the marriage and divorce. We didn’t have a horrible
divorce, we were still talking.
I just didn’t
discuss it with him. Then one day I was having a lunch with a friend who
had been a friend in the marriage, and she said, “Rita, why aren’t you
writing a book?” And I said, “You know Steve, he’s such a private person,
how could I do that to him?” And she said, “Rita, you’ve been divorced
for 15 years— is he still controlling you?” The next day I started the
book. But I was very careful not to get into stuff. That wasn’t the point
of the book.
LYA:Did
you ever worry about physical danger on the road, about being attacked?
RG:
I was 47 going on 48 when I started traveling. I think if I had been 24
it might have been more of a problem. But at 48, they’re not chasing after
me down the street [laughs]. I think it’s a positive thing! And I’ve warned
people asking me that question who are young and nubile that they’re going
to have more trouble than I did.
LYA:So what
advice would you give women who want to travel alone?
RG:
Be careful in the cities. If you can, go to small villages where people
protect you. If you’re in a village and you stay a long time, people get
to know you. They know who the problems are in their village and they tend
to warn you away or warn people off you. I’m not crazy. I don’t leave things
lying around. But I do go almost anywhere anyone invites me.
If you’re single
and nervous about going off, a great thing is Servas. Many countries have
it. It’s a wonderful organization. Everyone is screened. The homes, everything.
It’s a good way to enter a culture. Even if you don’t want to stay with
them, you can just call them and say, “I’m with Servas, would you like
to have lunch?” It’s like having friends all over the world.
LYA:There
was a village in Mexico where the men were getting drunk and rowdy and
the women ended up protecting you.
RG:
That was beautiful. These were women who wouldn’t talk to me, were frightened
of me when I first arrived. And all of a sudden they were ringing me and
dancing around me. It was absolutely amazing. That was a very touching
moment.
LYA:What
would you say was the most meaningful aspect of your travels?
RG:
Probably my relationship with Tu Aji in Bali. He was very beautiful man—not
a lover. He had two wives and that was enough. And I wasn’t attracted to
him in any physical way. We experienced each other in a special way. It
was a spiritual love affair.
LYA:What
would you say was the most difficult part of your travels?
RG:
The most painful moment was in Guatemala. I had spent several months working
with this woman on opening a home for street kids in Guatemala City. I
wrote a proposal to help her get money, we renovated a house. Finally the
house was ready for the opening. But the woman had her assistant tell me
she didn’t want me on the project anymore. Too many gringos and not enough
locals. And I never saw her again. I was expendable. I cried for a week.
I locked myself in my room and didn’t come out. What I actually did that
night was meet a bunch of people who were smoking pot, and I got stoned
out of my mind. I wrote this in the book, but my editor wouldn’t let me
put it in! She allowed the mushrooms in Mexico, but she didn’t let the
marijuana through in Guatemala!
LYA: What
about medical care when you’re traveling?
RG:
Only one serious thing has ever happened to me. But I used to tell my friends
in Bali, “If I’m ever so sick I can’t make decisions for myself, put
me on a plane and send me to Singapore.” The medical care in Bali is
not good. Depending upon where I am, I might fly back to the nearest developed
country for help. But you know, it’s such a rich, exciting, and fulfilling
life, that if I died of some terrible thing, it would’ve been worth it.
The risks I take are in order to do something wonderful.
LYA:So what
advice would you give someone who’s hesitating out of fear?
RG:
Thinking is probably the most dangerous thing to doing anything adventurous
or fulfilling a dream. There are always reasons you shouldn’t do it. Why
it’s dangerous, why a single woman shouldn’t travel, or if you leave your
job you won’t be able to go back at the same level… I can make up huge
lists. From my point of view, giving it too much thought will stop you
from doing it. Don’t think, just jump. I always feel anxiety when I start
something new. But I know that if I just gulp and do it, it’s going to
be great at the other end. It’s not always easy. I’m 68 and I just came
back from Thailand and Laos where in a couple very remote villages we had
to sleep on a floor and there were steep stairs to get to the outhouse
with a squat toilet. I was scared. I don’t move as well as I did before,
I don’t squat as well as I used to [laughs] and I’m not sure I’m going
to go to any more places with squat toilets! I’m sort of changing my thinking.
LYA:Do you
think you’ll travel less, or to less remote places?
RG:The
latter. I’d like to take a 4-wheel drive and spend a year driving around
Canada. But I hate to drive.So I’m waiting for a driver to come along.
My next hope
is that I’ll be in Africa in 2006. Every major city in the world has an
international school that teaches in English, and a lot of them are happy
to have visiting authors. I got an invitation from the American Embassy
to spend two weeks at the school in New Delhi. It was a wonderful experience.
So I was thinking I’d like to do this in other schools.
Then two years
ago I was at clown school in Minnesota. I’ve been telling people they have
to get rid of their inhibitions if they want to live their dreams. I made
a list of about 20 things they should do. It started simply, like wake
up in the morning and brush your teeth with the other hand, spend a day
without a bra. The last thing on the list was to go to clown school. If
you’re having problems with your inhibitions, put on a face! So I went
to Mooseburger Clown School, and I loved it. I expected to find a lot of
people my age, middle-aged women with nothing else to do. But there were
people of all ages— doctors, a firewoman, it was fabulous. So I was in
the store where you can buy costumes and paints. I met a woman who was
the principal of a school in Zambia. Turns out there are five African countries
that share a guest author. I got the name of the person I apply to, and
I applied! I’m excited about it. I don’t know if I’ll get accepted, but
if I don’t, I think I’ll go anyway.
LYA:Do you
find your children’s books cross the language barrier?
RG:
A couple do. I have a book with a monkey called, Why Can’t I Fly? Everyone
can identify with that. It’s not a little white face with blond hair, it's
a monkey. She gets advice from other flying animals, like one bird says
you have to have feathers, so they glue the monkey all up and roll her
in feathers. Each time she gets advice, she tries it and leaps off the
top of a tree saying, "I can fly, I can fly… I can flop." And I can get
kids of any language to say it. And they laugh and laugh. So that is a
book I never travel without.
LYA:Sounds
like a book adults can relate to, too, if they’re trying something new.
RG:
[Laughs] I tell people it’s autobiographical! At the end of the book, the
monkey’s advisors tell her she has to try one more time. So up she goes,
and all the advisors are holding a sheet and they carry the monkey off
into the sky. It’s my favorite book of all the ones I’ve written. I wrote
it before I started traveling. It was prophetic!
LYA:Any
final words to our readers?
RG:
It’s never easy. You have to listen to the voices inside yourself, not
the ones from outside. You have to leap, and it’s almost impossible not
to succeed.
LYA: I enjoyed
talking to you, thanks!
RG:
You’re welcome!
Want more?
Visit Rita Gelman's fun web site at www.ritagoldengelman.com
To learn more
about Servas visit www.servas.org
To learn more
about Mark McMahon and his Adventures, visit www.LiveYourAdventure.com
The following
are Mark's previous articles for the magazine:
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