If you've seen one of these Chinese period pieces, you've seen most of them: there is a hero with long straight hair, a comedy fat courtier, a few pretty princesses, various evil bearded men and scheming aunties. I and four other Westerners (also picked up in the bar) played the henchmen of "Mar-Jali" a curiously named 19th century English explorer. When I told my Chinese girlfriend about my new job invading China, she assured me that the director would make sure that me and my fellow Westerners would be defeated. She added patriotically, "I hope you die".

The money will come in handy - I was paid 300 RMB (thirty six US dollars) for each day, which is a fair amount of cash in China - but I don't think I will do something like this again. Reasons include:

1. They were both very long days. They picked at us up at 7am, drove us off into the countryside, and took us back at 9pm. Shooting began as soon as the sun had melted the night's frost from the grass, and ended when the light faded. There was also the constant "hurry up and wait" management style to get used to - being ordered to rush rush rush to the next place, as if the whole day depended on you getting there immediately, then having to wait 15 minutes (+) for something to happen.

3. The pyrotechnics. In one scene, we stood in a line and fired off our guns to mow down the attacking soldiers. The production team lined us up, gave us cheap metal matchlock style pistols with wires stuck in the business end, and proceeded to connect us all up to a chunky volt box. The wires from the guns were tied together with the wires from the movie magic generator by hand, and then cello-taped under our jackets. The scene we were shooting was nothing new, "warriors being shot" - but the uneasy looks on our faces would have made brilliant TV. Suddenly 300 RMB didn't seem as much money, compared to the risk of being electrocuted or having a hand blown off. We looked at each other in fear.

In the end, the guns went off fine, as did my ears. We later realised the pistols were converted fake gun cigarette lighters - and at least one still had some gas inside it.

But there were some real highlights from the two days as well:

1. I got to wear a beard and moustache for an hour. In the studio, they looked us all up and down, selected me and glued huge neck-deep sideburns and a flowing US Civil War moustache to my face. I looked great - but as soon as we got to the set, someone ordered them to take my new facial hair off - I would have upstaged everyone, I'm sure.

2. I got to wield one of those wobbly kung fu swords and watch a martial arts fight scene being filmed. They used stunt doubles for all of us - with the fight director (a slightly built limber man) dressing up in the clothes and pinned down hair cut of the princess.

The speed the stunt men leapt and slashed at was pretty incredible, and there didn't seem to be much advance fight planning beyond "the princess will kill four and the hero kills the other two".

They then shoot more controlled close-ups with the real actress kicking Roland, or reversing her sword into the stomach of my stunt double. Fortunately, I hadn't invested much of my self into the character, so it wasn't too painful to see him die.

I'm now hoping for a more stable career teaching English.

Daniel Wallace, Kunming, China