Mexico is not as cheap as it used to be however liquor and cigarettes are still cheap: helps get that cancer thing going and medications are cheaper to help kill the pain.

Mexico is definitely out.The Bahamas and Virgin Islands are right up there with Hawaii and my last name isn’t Trump so affordable living isn’t there either. I was stumped?

One day checking my e-mail, an old friend, Scott Boswell sent me a note. Scott and I met while we were both living in Mazatlan but this message wasn’t from Mexico? Scott & Kasey were e-mailing me from Margarita Island Where in the world is Margarita Island? As it turns out Scott had been looking for the perfect place too.

Then he tells me that I can have a cute full time maid to clean up my mess for another $4 a day. I told this Texas windbag , I’ll be there Friday! My work buddy, Leo and I needed a vacation and I desperately wanted to prove that Scott was full of hot Texas air so we booked a flight!

OK! So hold onto you wallet! Airfare from Las Vegas is only $530 round trip to Caracas. It cost me another $56 to take a 737 hop to this pearl in the middle of the Caribbean. So, for $590, I get to take two giant steps backward into this supposid third world country. We landed on Margarita Island Venezuela on Friday. The name alone was worth the price of a ticket. Wonder if Jimmy Buffet is here? If not…….Why? This little dot on the map looked pretty good from the air and a whole bunch bigger. 

The island is about 40x60 miles with hundreds of white sandy strips called beaches, turquoise water and several big green mountain with scattered villages and towns. I was expecting a dirt runway with a couple guys in camo uniforms carrying machine guns. Cool! I like thrills. Much to my dismay, it was a very nicely appointed, very clean, air-conditioned airport that made many of the US airports look bad. 

Scott picked us up in his Land Cruiser. (And with no dingle balls and Oh-ugah horn. Come on Scotty. This is supposed to be third world and we’ve all seen Romancing the Stone!) Scott drove us 6 miles to a very nice hotel in Polamar, a cosmopolitan city of 200,000 with high-rise condos and hotels. I kept looking for the third world? It’s here somewhere? Our hotel Marbellamar was a very nice hotel with open-air lobby, swimming pool, restaurant and bar, parrots, concierge, travel agency and more. Well, I didn’t catch Scott on the car but I sure can get him on this hotel. This place ain’t cheap!

The front desk clerk said a room was 70,000 Bolivar’s (B’s) a night. What? My hand started shaking as I reached for some money. (I had exchanged $100 at the airport with some money-changing guy) So not being familiar with the exchange, I had to do the calculator thing. (We changed our money at the rate of 2200 Bolivar’s to the dollar) The room came to $31. Per person right? No. It was for two people. Stick around……it gets worse!

We spent 3 days at this hotel and then decided to try another so we moved to Katarama Hotel. A smaller hotel with a nicer pool, breakfast was included, pool bar and a larger room with bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room with American TV for 60,000 B’s ($27) a night for two with breakfast. We spent the next 7-days here. If it got any cheaper they would be paying us! We rented a car. Scott took us to El Yaque, which was far from Yuckie. A beautiful sandy beach known for wind surfing, great beach restaurants and girls using dental floss for bathing suits so we stopped for a cold one. A beer was 1000 B’s ($.40) so we had six. I was wondering if any of those girls did any house cleaning? On the way back we needed to get gas for the Avis rental car so we pulled into a gas station where they still give you full service. While a girl washed the windshield and filled the tank I went into the convenience store for a cold beer.

The convenience store is like any 7-11 or Circle K in the States and is very well stocked.  The official Venezuelan currency exchange rate is 1920 Bolivar’s to the dollar. You can exchange almost anywhere for 2200 to the dollar. Scott was getting us 2500 to the dollar. So when we paid for the gas, the girl squeezed 2483 Bolivar’s of 91 octane into the tank. About $.99 for a tank of gas! The beer was $500 B’s ($.20) When was the last time you got a tank of gas and a cold beer for under $1.25?

Never! Until today. Scott had gotten me again! I was wondering if girl who pumped our gas, cleans houses? Now I understand why Venezuela has won the Miss World competition more than any other country! They have some beautiful people even if all they wear is dental floss or a gas station uniform. At night, after a wonderful Italian dinner with a bottle of wine for $16, Leo decided to go home and I decided to go to Senor Frog’s. One thing I noticed is Margarita Island is very family oriented. I have never seen so many men out entertaining their daughters! I am really too old for Senor Frogs but I failed to see any age gap.

A beer there was the most I spent anywhere and it was 2000 B’s ($.80). If you like disco’s and loud music, that’s the place. Right next door there are two wonderful outdoor restaurants as well. Very cosmopolitan/European style. By the way, nightlife really starts at midnight and goes until the wee hours of the morning. From there I went to Margaritaville and the band didn’t start until 12 pm. And no, Jimmy Buffet was not there but he would love it.

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