The United States is a very big place by comparison and we are very spoiled when it comes to moving about…we have a lot of choices. And if you have the means, no one is about to tell you might have to leave unless your being there is approved by a large bureaucracy. Of course, the exception being anyone wanting to live in a Manhattan Condominium. The news that the New Zealand Immigration Service thought us worthy enough to become permanent residents in their country was very moving indeed (yes, pun intended). And here’s the icing on the cake…it was our anniversary! What a great present! And after my wife reminded me of that fact (phew!) we had even more reason to celebrate. So we had a great dinner and shared a bottle of some of New Zealand’s best wine (not quite on par with Napa, but they’re getting there) at one of our favourite restaurants.

The NZIS only lets about 60,000 people immigrate to New Zealand a year. Of those the majority, about 35%, come from the U.K.  Only about 4% are Americans. But judging by my e-mails that number is sure to increase after the last election! So we felt very lucky in many ways.  It was a long and tumultuous endeavour. The NZIS returned our passports with the appropriate documentation inside almost exactly a year after we had begun the application process. During that time they had changed the rules three times, set the bar at various astronomical heights and came up with many new and creative ways to frustrate even the hardiest of candidates.  Since then they’ve made it considerably easier for those following in our footsteps as their earlier efforts had resulted in reducing the flow of emigrants to a trickle. With unemployment at a 23 year low, they finally realised that having good, qualified folks move here from other lands can be a good thing.  And as I always say, it’s not perfect, but it’s perfect for us.

The second thing that makes me think that New Zealand has become a habit was initiated by a long-awaited visit by Sandy’s brother Rick and his wife Susan. Seeing someone “familiar” for the first time in many months was a real treat. We’ve made new friends here, much faster than we thought possible, but there’s nothing like reuniting with loved ones around the holidays. 

Rick and Susan’s visit was over Thanksgiving week. Of course, they don’t celebrate U.S. holidays like July 4th or Thanksgiving in New Zealand. They do however take a day to rejoice and set off fireworks in remembrance of Guy Fawkes, one of England’s most notorious traitors. In 1605, Guy Fawkes (also known as Guido - yes, really) and a group of conspirators attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament in what is known as the Gunpowder Plot of 1605. Celebrating an English rebel that tried to blow up Parliament a long time ago…very strange. So having family here for our very own Thanksgiving celebration was very special. 

We took a week off and showed them the sites as best we could as new Kiwis. Mostly we visited all of the popular tourist areas. We visited our friends Lindsay and Adel in Rotorua where Rick and Susan had the privilege of experiencing the wonderful aromas of Rotorua’s volcanic vents. We went to Taupo to ride the Huka Jet boats down the Waikato River…but couldn’t get Susan to Bungy. She’s now the only member of the family that hasn’t and can claim complete sanity. We headed up to the New Middle Earth world of Coromandel and of course spent some time exploring the “big city”, Auckland. We even visited a little-known secret locale of New Zealand, a place called Te Kuiti. Te Kuiti has the proud reputation of being the “Sheering Capital of the World”. Wow!  Believe it or not, one of Susan’s lifetime goals was to sheer a sheep! And we thought, well if it can’t be done in New Zealand – where sheep outnumber humans 12 to 1 – where else? So before they arrived Sandy spent some time searching and we found a place that would actually allow Susan to shear a sheep…Billy Black’s Kiwi Culture Show!  Billy Black’s is actually located in nearby Woodlyn Park which is near the Waitomo Glow Worm Caves, another great experience we’ll talk about another time.

On a bright, sunny morning we visited Billy Black’s, one to make sure we could find it and two to ensure Susan hadn’t come 5,000 miles in vain. We met Billy (who is actually a cousin to the “real” Billy Black) and his wife.  Both were kind enough to take time out to give us a guided tour.  Rick and Susan were quite surprised, but we’ve come to expect things like that from the locals as that’s just how they are…another New Zealand “habit”.  Like almost all Kiwi attractions, Billy Black’s Kiwi Culture Show is a “mom and pop” operation. There are no Disneyland’s, no Universal Studios or Six Flags over Christchurch here.  Everything is home grown and really very refreshing.  In fact a lot of the attractions here couldn’t be operated in the U.S. because they’d never be able to get liability insurance. This is a country of extreme sports and adventures. When you participate they expect you to use common sense…now there’s a concept! And Kiwis rarely sue anyone for anything. Solicitors (lawyers) are still a respected lot in New Zealand!  Most attractions do have their humble gift shop offering T-shirts emblazoned with their logo (usually having something to do with the silver fern or a sheep) and assorted coffee mugs and refrigerator magnets, but nothing on the scale of American corporate marketing. They often make their own souvenirs; pot holders are very popular apparently. It’s quaint and wonderful all at once.

Part of the tour included a very large barn-like building where the show is performed. It was obviously hand built of strong Kiwi timber but tended to creak and moan a bit when the wind would kick up. At the front was a large stage filled with lots of farm implements used during New Zealand’s founding days. But the seats were to best of all.  In front of the stage were dozens of rows of amazing, unmatched, old fold-down seats upholstered in a myriad of colours which Billy had purchased – or more likely hauled away – from old movie theatres! Not surprising to us as we’ve grown accustomed to the Kiwi way of life which includes utilizing everything until it can no longer be used. They aren’t cheap, just thrifty and practical here. If it still works, why throw it away? Kiwis were recycling long before it became fashionable. After the tour and some great Kiwi cultural history Billy and his wife invited us back to the afternoon show where Billy assured us Susan would have her chance to wrestle with one of New Zealand’s finest woolly beasts and relieve it of some of its winter coat.

We returned later, greeted personally by Billy and took our seats near the front of the “theatre”. Billy began by telling amazing stories of early New Zealand pioneers and how they settled this country back in the late 1700’s. He used the various farm tools and equipment to show everyone how the agricultural industry which is so much a part of New Zealand began. A variety of farm animals made appearances, some well trained, others not so cooperative, but all delighting the crowd which happened to consist of the four of us and a bus load of nice geriatric types on holiday. Like all good shows here, audience participation was part and parcel to the fun.  My wife Sandy got to go on stage and attempt to actually split a large log like they did in the old days; by blowing it up! Of course it didn’t blow up, but let’s just say she’s not so thrilled with loud firecrackers any more. Finally the piece de resistance, it was time to demonstrate the shearing of a sheep!

Billy took his time explaining how sheep farmers used to trim the wool by hand with large and fairly scary looking hand sheers which resembled very big scissors. Next was a hand-cranked apparatus which I think my barber still uses. Now in modern times they use electric sheering devices that look a lot like something you’d find in a hospital surgery room. These mechanisms have made sheep shearing a fine art. They have periodic contests here to find out who can sheer the fastest. Apparently the record, held by the same gentleman over the past few years, is 16 seconds! Amazing to think about isn’t it? Sheering an entire sheep by hand, head to toe, no mistakes or funny lines left behind, which would cause ridicule by the other sheep, in about the same amount of time it took to write this sentence! (I type slowly.)

With the forlorn sheep waiting a few volunteers were called up and of course Susan practically jumped on stage.  Billy wrestled the prize piece of mutton between his legs and using the “manual” shearing apparatus proceeded to show everyone how a sheep is properly sheared.  Each participant took the time to crank the little motor by hand. Then Billy called Susan over and let her in on the “fun”.  Now Susan is barely five feet tall in heels, so Billy had to hold the sheep still himself while she went to work as if she’d been doing it all of her life.  Piles of woolly fluff hit the floor.  When all was said and done, Susan returned to her seat with the biggest smile I had ever seen. “It’s not as easy as it looks! But I loved it!” she told us.  Her smile lasted for the next few days as she relived the experience for anyone that would listen. We’re told that the sheep is now in recovery and is expected to live. Ha, ha, kidding.

Later that week we were invited to a traditional (well, as traditional as it can get here) Thanksgiving dinner hosted by one of the two American couples we know. We all had a great time, met new friends and enjoyed our turkey and gravy. The traditional cranberry sauce, fresh from the can with the little lines still in it, isn’t to be found in New Zealand. But Rick and Susan, knowing how important those time-honoured things are, actually brought some from home! Our host even prepared a wonderful song and had everyone there sing it for our guests to welcome them! It wasn’t the same dinner as those with family and friends of years gone by and we did miss a lot of folks. But with two of our family members and some new friends, it was very special in its own way.

Christmas is right around the corner now and to be very honest, we’re having a heck of a time getting in the mood.  Stores are filled with sparkling trees and decorations. Christmas songs are playing everywhere…but “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” just doesn’t sound right when you’re listening to it over a bar-b-que at the beach! In fact, it’s down right weird!  We came from a warm climate but it was still cooler and getting to be wintertime when Christmas rolled around.  Here it’s just the opposite! Summer is on the way and people are buying Christmas shorts and jandals (Kiwi for sandals) for each other for crying out loud!  In downtown Auckland one of the large department stores features an immense Santa Claus outside. We found out that it’s known as the “Scary Santa” because it moves, curling its finger and winking in an eerie “come over here little boy, I’ve got a surprise for you” way. As comedian Kevin Meany likes to say, “That’s just not right!” So when the sub-tropical sun is beating down and it’s 80 degrees outside (27 C) we’ll be unwrapping presents and hoping that Santa filled our stockings with SPF 30 sunscreen! 

But that’s how it is here. Some things are different and some things are the same. Life moves a bit slower, business is more personal and the people are some of the friendliest you’ll ever meet. We continue to marvel at the beautiful countryside, clean air and peaceful way most Kiwis conduct themselves. Sure there are problems in this small bit of paradise, but compared to where we came from…”no worries” as they say here.  And that’s what we kept pointing out to our guests, likely to the point of making them nauseous!  New Zealand is very habit-forming. It gets under your skin and lulls you into a sense of wellbeing. We miss a lot of things of course.  There are no Trader Joe’s or Target stores.  Some things are more expensive and other things are hard to find…usually “They have to be ordered in mate!” (We did get the car part and Sandy’s promised to hold onto something else more appropriate when I drive, like the dashboard!) And that’s okay with us, we’re hooked…and now we’re permanent residents! Woo hoo! Thanks NZIS!

If you’re thinking about moving to New Zealand, or any other country for that matter, we always tell everyone “Visit!”  It may or may not be all you think it is and going there is the best way to find out. Here’s a link to the official New Zealand travel web site.

• http://www.newzealand.com/travel/ 

And if you ever have a “hankerin” to shear a sheep or just find out more about early Kiwi culture, be sure to visit Billy Black’s Kiwi Culture Show. (I’m not getting any money for this mind you…it’s just a fun thing to do!)  Being on the cutting edge of technology, Billy actually has a web site!

• http://www.woodlynpark.co.nz/show.html

That’s it for now…six months and we feel more like we’re still on vacation than residents, but now it’s kind of a habit of ours.  We think that’s a good thing.

Cheerz,

Rick

The following are Rick's previous articles for the magazine:

• We Did It! ~ Escaping To New Zealand
• We Did It! - Part Deux ~ Moving To New Zealand 
• We Did It! - Chapter Three ~ The Magic Of New Zealand
• Life In New Zealand...So Far ~ Cars And Fish

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http://www.emigratenz.org/
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