Studying Eskrima, Jeet Kune Do and Thai Boxing, through my instructors a world history of beating people up was given to me. Lucky told us about ancient Burmese invasions of Thailand and how, by burning the then Thai capital Ayuthaya, they destroyed most records and knowledge of Thai martial arts, leaving alive only the most widespread, Muay Thai. My teachers in The Academy would discuss the differences between Wing Chun side kicks and Muay Thai side kicks, and the different block required to intercept the much more damaging Thai move. These teachers would quote western boxing and fencing in the same breath as Indonesian Pensat Silat or Chinese Kung Fu.

This all reached an apogee when I attended a day's lecture / demonstration by Dan Inosanto, the man who, so I was told, had taught Bruce Lee Eskrima and helped him design a lot of Jeet Kune Do. This tiny Filipino (now in his sixties) told us stories of Filipino-Japanese machete skirmishes in high jungle grass during WWII, how a certain kick from an eastern martial art reminded him of "Angolan Capoeira", how this particular three punch training routine he was showing us never worked with "Bruce", as Lee's hands were too just fast and Inosanto could never move his pads quick enough to block the last move. 

Now, if I ever go to the Philippines, I would love to study some Eskrima, but I hadn't planned to take any Muay Thai classes in Thailand. The reason was that I didn't feel even slightly ready for the intensity of the real thing in Thailand - I wasn't properly conditioned or fit. It would be like showing up at the Tour de France without a bike. However, given this urge to do some exercise, I figured a gym in Khao San tourist land would be more than able to accommodate me, so had far fewer concerns than had I stumbled on a training camp somewhere in the countryside.

The class began. One of the instructors called me over and began wrapping my hands and wrists with an off white Muay Thai band, meant to shield my fists under the boxing glove. It was a moment so iconic in our Hollywood world that it was worth the lesson fee just for that.

I spent some time with one young instructor practising basic punch combos - "one two", he shouted again and again. Whenever I got it right he muttered, "Aaaah"! The man who I think was the second in command, a very short Thai with a round belly like an egg, thought my punches were OK, my kicks needed work, but my elbow strikes were awful. He took me over to a pad mounted on a wall to show me how to angle the point of my elbow into someone's face... I practiced over and over (after two days my right elbow had a red broken welt on it and I take a day off to help it heal).

Then I got into the ring to practice with Mu. He wore pads on his arms, shins and stomach - he moved his pads one way and I kick, moved them again and I launch a knee strike at his stomach. He kept shouting, "Power, power!" - harder, harder. He chided, "Feet together, no power - foot back, power"! He and I practiced boxing for a while, I tried to land some light hits on him, he tried to land some on me, with somewhat more success. What I liked about the class, is that while Mu sets hard standards, he was always realistic that I need to work up to them, e.g. forgiving me if I can't do the full twenty press ups required at the end of the two hours. The last warm down and stretches, then the twenty press ups, fifty sit ups, twenty back stretches, and as I worked through the sit ups, the instructor with the round belly came over and put his foot on my stomach, just to make it harder for me.

After the third day training with Mu, the warm down routine grew to fifty press ups and one hundred sit ups - sometimes with Mu kicking my stomach on each "up" of my press ups. If that sounds hard work, it is nothing compared to what the Thais do. There were a couple of students in the class that looked simply frightening, one V-torsoed guy doing strange bent knee press ups that looked all but impossible, another stood at the punch bag next to mine and attempted to murder it - his whipping kicks and elbows looked more like sword strikes than something a human should be able to do.

The Thai students combined their stone physiques with the mentality of silly adolescents. They were always playing and wrestling with each other, always shouting out and waving at every woman that walked past. I got the sense the same Thai girls walked past the gym every day, and every day the boxers tried the same crappy lines to impress them. Strangely though, any women that joined the class immediately became exempt from these antics. The boxers played with the toddler of the woman running the nearby noodle soup stall, posed for random backpackers' photographs, and after one lesson ended, two of them wrapped towels around their heads and pretended to sing and guitar to some Thai rock on the CD player. The atmosphere is as lighthearted as the training is serious - it is a good combination.

As a final comment on Muay Thai, if anyone reading is thinking of trying it out, I would really recommend it, if only for the fitness and flexibility benefits. I would just advise checking out the class beforehand, and talking with the instructor as to what a session actually involves. While, perhaps not surprisingly, it now seems to me that Thai instructors have a good sense of what beginners can and can't do, this isn't always the case in the West, I think. In my one experience of anything approaching contact sparring in London (I had no idea beforehand that the class was sparring instead of techniques), after the two hour session finished I had received: utter exhaustion, a bleeding toe, aching testicles, two dead legs (from the instructor, I think) and thighs so sore every time I sat down for the next couple of days they sang in pain. And, at the end of the class, the instructor chastised the more experienced students for being too easy on me.

So, just investigate carefully.

Daniel Wallace

The following is the first article Daniel wrote for the magazine:

• Murder And Horses - Todosantos, Guatemala
• To contact Daniel Click Here
• Daniel’s travels continue at http://blogs.bootsnall.com/dw