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The Hotel Ideal – pronounced eee-dee-al – is the best place I know of to hide out in Panama. If you are looking to escape from someone or you just want to become anonymous for a while and you don’t have enough money for a more expensive place, then the Hotel Ideal is for you. Anonymity is the theme here as well as sex of any kind. On Saturday the 17th of January 2004 at 2:30 in the afternoon I checked into room 246; the room cost $15.40. The same price as the first time I checked into the Hotel 9 years before. I remember that first stay only because I checked in 5 minutes before the O.J. Simpson verdict was announced. The Hotel Ideal is located near Avenida Central in the heart of the shopping district in old Panama. The Hotel is one of the best buys in the city; you have hot water, great cable T.V., great air conditioning and the restaurant has the best cheeseburger and fries in Panama and if you don't like that kind of food you can have a nice beer and enjoy the pool and sun. At one time in my life I spent days in this place hibernating from the world. When I checked in this time I saw the Kuna Indian bellboy I knew from years before. He 's an older man and he recognized me but didn't say anything when he took me to the room: he was wearing the same wrinkled burgundy bellboy shirt. There's an old elevator in the place that will scare you out of your shoes, but the stairwells are solid as stone. The noise from the streets outside can be loud, but you can room shop at the Ideal; if you don’t like the room ask for another, preferably one overlooking the swimming pool. Once you get into your room head down to the pool and sit back and start to melt into the transient atmosphere of the place. The pool is located next to the restaurant. When we walked into the place this time, I saw what looked to be the same Greek, Serbian, Bulgarian sailors that had been there 7 years earlier.

Lobby of the Hotel Ideal

J-street, that famous street in Panama City, the street with all the strip joints and sex shops, the street with all the crazy gringos looking for love is located just down the street from the Hotel. The J-street of yesteryear is long gone: the place died out like a lot of other red-light districts after AIDS exploded on the scene in the mid-80s. But when J-street was at its peak the place was a pit of sex, drugs and wild times; there are still some sex shops on J-street, but most have disappeared, thank god.
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Top is room at the Hotel Ideal. Bottom is poolside at the hotel's restaurant.

Anyway, there are better things to do today in Panama than tunneling through strip joints. And the area around the hotel has a lot to offer the visitor. Avenida Central, which is located just two-blocks from the Hotel Ideal is a very famous pedestrian shopping district. This is where the poor people of Panama do their shopping. You can find some great bargains on clothes, electronics and handicrafts on Avenida Central. This is a place where you can dress yourself from head to toe for under $10, or a place where you can buy a thirty-cent reading lamp that might blow up when you plug it in as happened to me. And if you’re not looking to buy, just sit back and look at how different the faces are of the people walking around on the street: Indian, Chinese, African, Spanish, French and American all mix together in the heat. The place is full of history. If you walk to the end of Avenida Central you will see the Café Coca-Cola; this is where Che Guevara stayed when he was passing through Panama on his way to Guatemala and later Mexico around late 1953 or early 1954. This is also where Noriega's men beat up the opposition, after the opposition had won the elections of 1989. This is where that terrible video you probably saw on the History Channel, in which Billy Ford, the vice-presidential candidate is beat up on the street, occurred. Those days are gone and Panama is a safe place to visit. As you walk down Avenida Central note the apartment balconies above the storefronts. Many of the families that live in these apartments came to Panama from India. A very good friend introduced me to the Indian community of Avenida Central: great food. Most of the Indian population came to Panama from Gujarat, the home province of Gandhi. Many of the families came to Panama after the Canal was built. Most Indian families came to Panama with absolutely nothing in their pockets, lived in collapsing wooden houses and  could barely stay alive, but a generation or two later they owned buildings, drove expensive cars and sent their children to expensive universities in the States. How?

Most Indians in Panama practice something called ferri. In the U.S. or Europe you would call this lone sharking. Small loans. Say to start $50, then a $100 and over the years if you really create a close relationship with your customer $500 and up. You charge interest on the loan which will be paid back the next pay day and start loaning again until you can collect enough interest to invest in some capital, a car, a building, a restaurant, whatever: interest turns into capital. Now the key to ferri is collecting the money: there is nothing legal about this, the person that borrows the money doesn’t sign a contract so there is no legal record of the transaction and because the borrower is Panamanian, it is unlikely that anyone will make him or her pay. The Indians that do this don’t use muscle to force payment. What they use as their weapon is first creating a strong personal relationship with their client and then they use tension as a way of making sure of payment. Coming to your work, coming by to see you, even if you live in an extremely dangerous neighborhood: they come. Those that practice ferri are always on the streets on pay day in order to collect their money. And they are fearless. The greatest practitioner of ferri in Panama was once pointed out to me at a Hindu versus Muslim cricket game and I could see immediately why he was so good at his job: the overwhelming sense of tension and dread on his face was suffocating. The Indians in Panama that practice ferri always make fun of the Muslims because Muslims can’t charge interest on money as the Koran states that interest collecting is a sin. But the Muslims in Panama have other ways of surviving. Off the side streets of Avenida Central you will see young Muslim kids selling perfumes. The inexpensive perfume market is controlled by Muslims. Muslims are also very active in the used car business: many of the cars that are repossessed by the banks are then sold to Muslim used car dealers.

More On Escaping In Panama There have been a number of famous people who have hid out in Panama in order to escape trouble elsewhere: The Shah of Iran, General Cedras of Hati, Patty Hearst, John Wayne, Graham Greene, Juan Peron and Billy Carter - Jimmy Carter’s brother - he was famous for kicking up all kinds of shit in Panama as well as Carter’s Chief of Staff, Hamilton Jordan. Now Panama is a great place to lay low. Panama has always been a place where you could come and be whatever you want. If you are sick of living inside your skin, sick of your life, your personality, your friends, your name, and if you want to shed your identity for a while, then you will be welcomed in Panama. Hopefully, you don't feel this way about your life. For the most part people in Panama will welcome you as you are. But the price of entry is that you also must respect what other people like.  Now for some great places to escape to in Panama. Contadora Island is a great place to visit especially during January and February; it is also nice in November and October when it is lush and green. This used to be an escape for people like John Wayne, Mickey Rooney, Julio Inglesia and Joe DiMaggio. Recently the T.V. series Survivor filmed on Contadora. Another spot to escape to would be the beach town of Santa Clara. Located on Panama’s Pacific Coast, Santa Clara is a great beach: white sand, hot sun and blue water. There are a couple of small hotels near the beach that are affordable. Another escape would be Cerro Azul, a small mountain town above Panama City. If you like cool weather then Cerro Azul is the place for you. Cool air and old cloud forests and great views are what you’ll find. The Azuero Peninsula is a great place to visit during January and February: on just about any day of the week you’ll be able to find some town in Los Santos province celebrating some kind of festival. And the beaches in Los Santos, though very remote are great for sun and surf.

The Cafe Coca Cola

Avenida Central

Hallway in the Hotel Ideal

FSU-Panama is the second oldest University in Panama. It has been operating in Panama since 1957 and offers majors in Computer Science, Environmental Studies, Information Studies, International Affairs, Interdisciplinary Program In Social Science and Latin American and Caribbean Studies. The University is located in the old U.S. Canal Zone and lies directly under the Bridge Of The Americas, the bridge that connects North America and South America. The University provides housing at a very reasonable price and tuition to the school is much less expensive than most universities in the States. Classes are in English and most students that spend their four years at the University learn Spanish. So you get Spanish as well as English as well as a U.S. recognized degree and you also stay out of the cold and get the chance to visit other countries in the region without having to travel so far. Click Here to see more about FSU-Panama

Another popular place to study in Panama is the Smithsonian. The Smithsonian is very powerful in Panama and they have research projects going on all around the country.

Summer In Panama

In Panama the summer months run from January to April. During this time of the year the weather is hot and dry: hammock weather. The winds pick up and the pace of life slows down and people really enjoy themselves. In the provinces – especially Los Santos, Herrera and Veraguas Provinces – people begin to prepare for the fairs in the countryside. The fairs have music, discos, exhibitions and food. Christmas tree lights, wooden stands and hot nights with rum and sex.  If you’ve never been to one they're great fun. Most of the fairs are near a beach so during the day head to the beach and at night head back to the fair. Or check out the rivers of Panama in the summer. Great fun. 

Buying Real Estate In Panama

If you are thinking of buying some land in Panama, and it's not a bad idea, make sure you see the title to the land first. The process here works like this. You have decided to purchase the land: you first see the title to the land, then you turn over your check for the land to the bank, the seller turns over the title as you turn over the monies. Next, the the bank will hold both the title to the land and the monies to pay for the land. Buyer and seller are now in limbo. The title and monies will be held for 30 days until the buyer takes possession of title and the seller takes possession of funds. There are deviations to this outline of buying real estate, but that's the basic formula.  If the title isn't with the bank, you're lost. Don't put monies in bank accounts directly from the States: bye-bye monies. After you buy then you have to build something and this could take years.

I've been asked by lots of readers about what is the best way to buy land or set up a business in Panama and there are two things you need to do before entering the Panamanian market: first find yourself a good lawyer; Panama has excellent lawyers. Second, find a local business contact. If you have these two factors working in your favor, then you'll be able to cut through the behemoth that is Panamanian bureaucracy. 

Quotes

"If ten people came to my office, or a hundred or a thousand, I talked to them. I think I talked with everyone in those months(early 1944). Bit by bit as they say. And if they said to me that this was a long job, I would reply."Don't forget that the parrot, eating one kernel of corn after another, will consume the cornfield. And that's the way I politicized the Argentine masses."

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