Moving
Back
Moving Back To The United
States From Dubai ~ By Maura Madigan
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that people have stopped asking when we’re “moving back home” to the US,
we’re actually considering it. We’ve just started our fourth and
last year in Dubai. We know we want to move but the question is,
where? I know many expats, those with limited contracts, facing the
same question. On to another country, another adventure, treating
Dubai as just one stop in a lifetime spent overseas? Or do we move
back to the US, settle down, buy a house?
This is our
second time living overseas - we spent two years in S. Korea and Japan
- and it probably won’t be our last. We were living on Okinawa when
our older daughter was born and decided to return to the US. I was
homesick and wanted to be closer to my family and friends. Perhaps
our destination, a small mid-Western town, wasn’t the best choice because
within two months we were ready to go abroad again. We’re both city
people and spent that year wishing we were somewhere else.
When I think
about moving back to the US, part of me is afraid we’ll regret our decision,
that it will be like our year in Ohio, starved for adventure. I tell
myself, and my husband, that it will be different if we move to a city
- New York, Boston, DC, Chicago. We’ll still be able to travel.
I know we’ll have to make certain concessions, almost certainly money related.
Dubai offers great perks for lucky expats: tax-free income, free
housing, free private education, and annual vacation money. The UAE
is centrally located for travel to Europe, Asia, Africa. Travel from the
US will be more difficult and almost certainly more expensive. |
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Although we’d
have to give up some things, living in the US would have definite advantages.
First, we’d be closer to family and friends. This has become more
of an issue as my daughters get older. My oldest, Annie, is nearly
five and she’s particularly interested in family. She wants to talk
to them, see them, know about them. Visiting our family for a couple
of weeks every (or every other) summer no longer seems enough. I
want my daughters to know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.
The feeling of love and safety that comes from extended family, from tradition.
We’re part
of this extended family, but only nominally. Since we live so far
away, people have started to forget about us. Family and friends
get pregnant, sick, divorced, move and we find out about it months later.
We’re out of the loop. I don’t blame them really. We’ve been
gone for four years. It’s easy to forget.
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Another
issue that’s related to this is a sense of identity. I was reading
something about “third culture kids” (children who don’t identify with
their country of nationality or their country of residence). This
applies to my girls. Although they’re American, neither girl was
born there. The confusion arises when someone asks the popular question
“Where are you from?” Annie was born in Japan, lived in the US for
one year and has been in Dubai for three years. She tells people
she’s from New York, although she’s never lived there. That’s where
I’m from and where my mother still lives. At first I thought her
answer was funny, but I realize she needs to place herself somewhere.
She needs some identification. Last year she was working out the
idea of nationality and continually asked what she was (American), what
language we speak (English, not American). She also needed to label
other people.
In Dubai, 80%
of the population are expats, so most people are from somewhere else.
The diversity is fantastic, but being an American abroad can be dangerous
these days. For a while my husband and I told strangers we were from
Ireland, not a complete lie since we’re both of Irish descent. We
felt it was safer if people didn’t know we were Americans, especially people
we’d be unlikely to see again. This backfired a few weeks ago.
Annie and I were taking a taxi home and the driver asked where we were
from. I said, “Ireland,” and Annie said, “Mom, why are you lying?
You know we’re from New York because we’re American because our family
is American.” I met the driver’s eyes in the rear-view mirror and
smiled, embarrassed. From now on we’ll have to tell the truth and
take our chances. This is another drawback to living overseas.
A good portion of the world hates America. Most people make a distinction
between the country and its citizens, but what about those crazy few?
I hate feeling like I have to hide my nationality. Although Dubai’s
a fairly safe place, I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing an American flag
t-shirt. With two little girls to think about, it simply isn’t worth
the risk. In America, you’re American. You don’t have to think
about it, or more importantly - hide it. |
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Another “cost”
to living overseas is job related. It can be difficult to find a
job in the US again. It’s much easier to interview someone who’s
already in the States, than to fly someone in from overseas. With
such competition for jobs, this might be an easy way to weed someone out.
In academia, my husband’s profession, jobs only open up at certain times
of the year, so this makes it even more difficult. On the other hand,
once you’ve lived overseas, you’re much more marketable for overseas jobs.
You’ve already proven yourself.
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are other reasons, probably more peculiar to Dubai, why I want to move
back. I miss certain American conveniences. For example, being
able to find anything you need. Dubai’s pretty good in that respect,
but some things are mind-numbing, like how every pharmacy could be out
of contact lens solution, for months. There’s also the shortage of
“culture” (theater, opera, art films, concerts) and the limited offerings
at book shops, video and music stores. It’s fine for mainstream items,
but anything slightly obscure you have to order from Amazon. There’s
also the censorship. Films are edited (often very badly) and magazines
have nudity blacked out with magic marker. Some books and videos
will never make it to Dubai. Whenever we visit the US, we’re awed
by the selection of videos to rent, films to see, books to buy or borrow
(no English-language libraries in Dubai). I miss these things.
Not overwhelmingly so, but a little bit each day.
One thing that
does grate on me almost daily, and a big reason why I couldn’t live in
Dubai indefinitely, is the heat. We have six months of mind-blowing
heat, 100+ F during the day and humid. It’s tolerable, of course.
Dubai’s a city of indoor AC life. The winter months (Dec-Mar) are
lovely but it never gets cold enough for me. I miss snow, rain, chilly
mornings, crisp air.
I know that
I’ll miss Dubai, all its glitz and diversity. Miss talking to people
from twenty different countries on a daily basis. Miss the energy,
the excitement of a city that’s still building itself. We’ll be gone
by the time the Burj Dubai (the world’s tallest building) and The World
and Palm Islands (man-made islands shaped like the continents and palm
trees) are completed, or when the scores of other outrageous projects meant
to lure tourists are done. And, if we do move back to the US, we’ll
miss that rush we get from living in a foreign place. We’ll miss
our friends here and the easy lifestyle. We’ll miss it all but not
enough to make us stay.
To contact
Maura Click Here
To read Maura's earlier article
on Dubai Click
Here
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