Now, I am not a connoisseur of restrooms and toilets. I have used some nice restrooms in my time of course; even ones with an attendant present to hand you a towel. I have used toilets with phones attached, or with that oh-so-nice extra padding in the seat. But as a first-time visitor to Korea, and the orient, I gave no thought to restrooms. Why would I? I just assumed everyone in the world had the same type of facilities. Wrong, wrong, WRONG! And let me tell you, such ignorance of the world does not go unpunished.

A few days later I was walking in a local community park. I came upon a restroom and went in to use the facilities. I went into the Men's room (checking that is was ONLY the men's room) and went into a stall. 

Hmmm, I thought. They must be remodeling. Or vandals destroyed the toilets as often happens in America. Too bad. 

So I decided to use a toilet at a restaurant near the park exit. Again, I went into the stall and sure enough, there was a hole in the floor. But this time I noticed a pair of footprints painted on the ground, straddling the hole. Hmmm. That was interesting. Again, my lightening fast brain, after a long period of contemplation, arrived at a startling conclusion. The hole was the toilet! Ah crap, I thought. No pun intended. Lesson Number Three: Korean's use squat toilets. But you know the saying: "When in Rome, do as the Romans". So I went ahead and used the toilet. Now, Koreans are very accustomed to squatting since many sit this way in the home (where many do without western style furniture and instead use the floor for eating etc.). For me, a Westerner, who had never in his life used anything but a porcelain throne, the squat toilet was quite a challenge.

Some time after this incident I again had to use the toilet, this time in a modern building. I knew the ropes by this time though. Toilet paper was either hanging on the wall inside the restroom or for sale outside the restroom entrance. Nothing could happen to me now, I thought. As I approached the restroom I stopped at the vending machine outside to get toilet paper. I put in my money, and not yet able to read Hangul (the Korean language), picked a stout-looking package from the large selection. I was beaming with confidence. Yes, I was a foreigner, but I had become a seasoned traveler. I was a pro now. Or so I thought. I smugly entered, and used, the toilet. Then I opened my package of toilet paper - only to find a sanitary pad! Lesson Number Five: