A Life With A View...Returning To The USA ~ By Jesse Pennington
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A Life With A View...
Returning To The USA
By Jesse Pennington
So, what do military brats and missionary kids have in common?  When they return to their home turf…the great USA…we feel “left out”!

How can this be?” you might wonder.  Shouldn’t you feel relieved and secure to be “home”?  I guess the problem is defining just what “home” really is.

When you spend most of your youth growing up in places like Europe, Africa, the Middle East and elsewhere, you only get to visit “home” so often.  When you do, you begin to realize the cliques that are formed by the kids in the neighborhoods.  It’s even worse amongst your relatives sometimes.

You try very hard to fit in, but don’t seem to know exactly what to laugh at, or when. We just don’t get the jokes because they're based on common knowledge of local happenings that we just aren’t privy to. A delayed or faked laugh that is out of place feels like a huge finger pointing you right out!
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I remember wondering what was so special about a T.V. show about a Beaver?  Why would I leave anything at all to a Beaver? Why was everyone so excited about football and baseball?  Where were the bloody soccer matches after all!  Why do they laugh so hard about the Little Rascals when Cantinflas was so much better!  Hot dogs were great eating but boy did I miss the Schwarmas!
Then, after a time of feeling left out and like I had a third head, I actually begin to feel sorry for them. Imagine calling a three-hour car trip to Niagara Falls an “international vacation”. Watching them prepare for a car trip across town you would think the destination was Hong Kong the way they acted.

Their idea of a cultural experience was visiting Amish country for a few hours on a Saturday.  Heck, most of these people never get more than 50 miles from home!  Where they lived was not the end of the world… but you could see it from there!!

A pitiful lot they are!  You say Flamenco and they imagine skinny pink birds! You say Jhilava and they think of volcanoes spewing forth some kind of goo. You talk about Pele and El Cordobes and they give you blank stares… how dare they! I can’t wait to fly back “home” again.

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At last, the return trip back across the pond and not a minute too soon! Ah, the smell of calamares and the ocean. How sweet the pleasure of seeing people that are not grossly overweight and that actually know how to dress. And listen… they can communicate in more than one language too! Empanadas anyone? 

Ah, but now that I was back again I remembered the other culture clash that got kicked back into gear. Of course, I had conveniently forgotten about this when I was back “home” with the less fortunate and uncultured friends and relatives in the good old USA. I was now back in another land and another culture… still the outsider!

As an American, I was both admired and feared. Many of my local friends hung around me because I was the token foreigner and their badge of honor. They were cool because they were close friends with one of “us”.  Others shunned me because I was the outsider and didn’t belong “inside”.

So you discover soon enough that the secret to success (read survival) in this world was a simple matter of knowing how to play the American card, and when!

How many times I would look at my local buddies trying to “act American”. I would watch their efforts while internally laughing out loud. They were trying so hard to be cool…that is “American” by definition… but simply had missed the timelines by about 10 years or more!  Hey, even today you can revisit the “Flower Child” or “Hippie” days by simply traveling in some parts of eastern & central Europe, Latin America or even Asia.  But please be careful not to spill the beans about Woodstock being over now… they just don’t take kindly to that sort of rude awakening!

Oh, and did I mention the other little cultural war that went on for us military brats?  When you are living overseas on a military base it’s only natural that everyone inside the military community was family.  Everyone else were “civilians”…i.e. Martians! And let’s not even bring up the “locals”. This was another species altogether! If memory serves, my other “brat” friends came up with interesting nicknames for the locals…like the Spaniards were “Moes”, the Italians were “Ginnies”, the Moroccans were “Rag Heads”, ad infinitum.

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Hey, who cares if this is their land. We’re here now and they should learn to accommodate us, shouldn’t they? What would this country be without us around to help manage things? 

But wait just a minute! I knew that I didn’t really feel that way about the locals at all. In fact, we preferred to live off base and amongst the locals whenever feasible. My mom was an Italian from Rome after all so I really couldn’t count myself as a full-blooded Yankee. No, I had to learn how to live in all these worlds almost simultaneously. No wonder I learned to relate to Cher’s song “Half Breed”!

I actually began to understand what my local friends meant when they talked about the “ugly Americans”. My buddies and I could pick them out at 50 yards, without fail. The easiest thing to spot was the way they dressed… dreadfully! The maps, cameras and pitiful attempts to speak a few words of the local language were another give-away. If all else failed, just wait for the attitude…”what do you mean you don’t speak English…doesn’t everyone?

One very vivid memory I have was from a small fishing village where we lived in Spain called Torrevieja. My sister and I were quite literally the only American kids in the entire town of 20,000. So we needed to learn the language, accept the culture and get accepted as soon as possible! The Navy had developed a sponsoring program to help newly arrived families get settled in to a local community. My folks were hosting a couple one evening for dinner when my buddies and I came running in from the street. We ran through the door, chattering in a very rapid Andalucian dialect, and headed right for the kitchen to open the fridge and raid it at full tilt. Then I heard the wife of our guest family ask my mom whether it was customary to allow local street urchins to just run into your home and go into your fridge like that. She was clearly alarmed that this might be something she would have to adapt to in the name of getting along! Mom, being the gracious soul she is, pointed me out and said…”it’s okay, that one over there is my son”! 

So, here I am, no matter where I am…the outsider. I’m an Ex Pat on foreign soil as well as at home in the USA! What a pickle, right? But no, don’t feel sorry for me! I love my life! I have been blessed to experience life from several vantage points. I have been blessed to grow up without any real prejudices for other people or cultures because I had to survive alongside them. I had traveled, lived and seen more by the age of 18 than a great majority of folks ever do in a lifetime!

Wouldn’t you know it though! I come back to the US for college, meet and fall in love with a local girl and get married! What did she see in me? I guess it was the culture, the travel, the languages, the mystique… maybe even the looks (wishful thinking here!)? So now that I’m married I’ll settle down and stay “home”, right?  Wrong!

As it turns out, my wife loves culture and travel even more than I do!  She is always ready to go anywhere and dearly loved the four years we spent in Mexico City on company assignment…that is a whole other story by itself!  Did I mention our third child was born in Mexico?

She actually speaks respectable Spanish and waits with baited breath for our next move. Being “home” is all well and good, being around family, friends, et al. Yet, somehow this changing of the season's thing has lost its appeal for us. Having to maintain at least two wardrobes and being able to use the garage as an extra refrigerator just has lost its overall attractiveness. I guess it’s just age? Then our families only add fuel to the fire by constantly asking when we’re going abroad again… they need a new vacation spot! You think I’m kidding?  Heck, we saw more of our relatives and family while living in Mexico than we do now… only 35 minutes away!

So here we sit at “home” again. Yet our daily conversation always is dotted with dreams and desires of the next adventure somewhere in the world. What’s the point of being tri-lingual and multicultural and being “stuck” in the middle of the Midwest?  I’m already bored with local “ethnic” restaurants. It’s good and all but so far from the real thing…maybe it’s the water? Well, tomorrow is another day and we’ll see what the winds might blow in our direction.

Here we go again?

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