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I wrote a book with a woman I’d never met.  She (Melissa Hess) was living in Kiev, Ukraine, while I was based in Leipzig, Germany.  Both longtime expats, we first linked up in cyberspace, through an informational e-mail group for the U.S. Foreign Service community. Intrigued by each other’s contributions, we were soon e-mailing each other privately to discuss ideas for articles to support other expatriates. Our ambitions expanded to book length, and soon we were collaborating by e-mail on a proposal, which was accepted by Intercultural Press in Maine, USA.  We finally met at the Portland airport in Maine – after our book had been completed and published. The product of our collaboration, The Expert Expatriate: Your Guide to Successful Relocation Abroad (Nicholas Brealey Intercultural, 2002), basically presents the information and advice we wish we’d had when we first moved abroad – updated, of course, to reflect the many changes in expatriate life over the past 15 years or so since we started out, as exemplified by our own experience writing a book in two different countries, using e-mail and the Internet. Our research, also mainly conducted online, led us not only to other Americans but to new contacts of a variety of nationalities. We gathered stories, anecdotes and advice from every English-speaking expat we could find, including South Africans in the U.S., British citizens in continental Europe, and a Virgin Islander living in India, among many others.  Here are a few of the most important bits of advice we uncovered, as presented in the ten chapters of our book - I hope they will help give you a head start on your own global adventure.

The island of Tortola in the British Virgin Islands has become a popular Expat island for Brits and Americans.

International businesses hire consultants to tell them these things (and of course you can too), but you can often find out just as much through a bit of networking with expatriates already on the ground. As Melissa and I found, it’s a simple matter these days to get in contact with expatriates around the world. The extensive links provided at www.escapeartist.com probably include expatriate groups active in your target country or region, as well as general groups such as ExpatExchange, ExpatMoms and the groups at Tales from a Small Planet (www.talesmag.com). 

In addition to expat message boards and e-mail groups, look for websites and contact information for traditional clubs (American chambers of commerce, international women’s groups, general expatriate clubs, and so forth) in your new host country. These groups may sound old-fashioned – I never would have joined something called the “Cosmopolitan Women’s Club” in my pre-expat life – but overseas, they serve the essential function of bringing expats of a range of nationalities, ages and professions together for networking and mutual support.

Why am I specifically advising that you contact expatriates and not local people? Who wants to go overseas just to hang out with a bunch of other Americans? (Not me!)  Of course it is terrific to have local contacts before and after you arrive, and I encourage you to develop as many as possible. But unlike host-country citizens, your fellow expatriates have been through many of the same experiences you will face – they’ve filled out visa forms, figured out public transportation maps in a foreign language and struggled with work permit requirements. 

Also, expatriate social communities are fascinatingly diverse; my closest friends abroad have included a Mexican woman with a German husband and a Swiss woman married to a Brazilian. They also include plenty of local citizens married to foreigners and those with a special interest in international culture. So even if you are determined to avoid the “expat ghetto” and immerse yourself fully in the local scene, fellow expatriates can help introduce you to your first contacts.
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Morocco was a favorite expat destination in the 1950s for writers and painters.

There is no need to be shy about contacting expatriates via e-mail or on a message board with your specific questions and concerns (like “how do you arrange for car insurance in Morocco?”). Melissa and I have found expats’ readiness to help each other one of the most surprising and enjoyable aspects of living abroad. In return, you’ll probably find yourself advising the next batch of newcomers before long. Remember that it’s almost impossible to anticipate all of the issues you’ll face in a completely new environment, so be sure to ask some open-ended questions as well (like “Is there anything else I should know?”). It’s also a good idea to contact more than one person, because points of view can vary greatly, especially about touchy subjects like housing and schools.  Prepare yourself with language and cultural knowledge. When you arrive in a new country, even the simplest-sounding tasks can present an enormous challenge: buying stamps and mailing a letter, riding a bus or subway, putting together the ingredients for a meal, getting a telephone connected. On top of that, imagine that you can’t speak a word of the language, signs and labels are nothing but gibberish, and you are constantly offending the people around you by breaking cultural rules (while they seem to act  shockingly rude as well, since some of their customs probably violate the rules you grew up with). The good news is that the first hundred words of a language are the most important, and these are not so hard to learn. If a class or tutor is not convenient, there are excellent interactive computer programs on the market such as the “Transparent Language” series. For cultural information, look for a book focused on your host country (like the Culture Shock! country guides or a title from Intercultural Press). Many expats tell themselves that it will be much easier and cheaper to learn the language and pick up cultural information after they arrive. This may be objectively true, but it neglects the psychological importance of the arrival period, when you are already certain to feel like a blundering idiot several times a day. Equipped with a bit of language and cultural information as a starting point, you will feel more confident and settle in more easily – while the local people will be much more positively disposed to help you along to the next level.s

Give yourself time to adjust.  During an international move, nearly everything in your life changes – your home and daily environment; your work or main occupation; the language spoken around you; the routines and rhythms of life; the people you come into contact with; the food you eat; the weather; the local laws, rules and customs -- and even your place in society and your sense of belonging (or not). In our book, Melissa and I agree with the cross-cultural researchers who upgrade the idea of “culture shock” to a more general “transition shock.”

If you’re like most expats we’ve talked to, you won’t feel fully settled in their new environment until you’ve found new friends, secured a job or found other meaningful activities (studying, volunteering, etc.), identified satisfying things to do in your free time (sports, hobbies, exploring the country), set up a comfortable home of some sort, mastered daily errands and chores, and learned to cope with the language and culture without feeling isolated and frustrated. 

All of these achievements take time – at least six months, even in a relatively “easy” environment. In a particularly challenging transition – you are trying to learn Korean or Hungarian, your household shipment is held up in customs for months, your efforts to find a job are blocked by work permit restrictions, or you move back to the States after 12 years abroad and decide to completely renovate a tiny house while living in it (as I did during the past year) – you may not feel settled for twelve months or more.
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During this period, you may find yourself wondering whether you are accomplishing anything at all, since so much of your energy is going into the adjustment process – or whether something is wrong with you, since other expatriates don’t appear to be having any trouble. For the latter, it can help to log on to online expatriate forums, where people are more willing to discuss feelings and experiences that don’t necessarily emerge during social events. And on days when you feel you are spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere at all, remember that the task of adjusting to a foreign environment and gaining in-depth knowledge of another country and culture has been compared to earning a master’s degree.  If you have family members along, remember that each person will experience the move differently.  A move abroad is a major life event. People’s reactions to it will depend on their situations (as students, employees, retirees, accompanying spouses, etc.) as well as their personalities and individual experiences. For instance, a woman I know was worried that her marriage was in trouble a few months after moving abroad with her husband. She complained that he was unresponsive and “zombie-like” after work, while she felt unbearably lonely and starved for attention. But of course -- the husband was struggling to adjust to a high-stress job in a new country, dealing with new colleagues all day in a new language and culture. It’s not surprising that there was little conversational energy left in him by the end of the day. The wife, on the other hand, was cut off from her previous network of colleagues, friends and activities and found herself isolated in an unfamiliar environment.  Once they recognized the source of the problem, the wife made a stronger effort to find new activities and friends, and the husband carved out more weekend and evening time to do enjoyable things as a couple and explore the new country together.  Adjustment to a new country also proceeds in phases for most people – the well-known period of initial excitement, followed by a “slump” of overload and exhaustion, and then gradual adjustment to the new environment. However, variations can be huge – some family members may experience a completely different pattern, or reach various phases at different times. The key within couples or families seems to be good communication – staying aware of how everyone is doing – combined with caring support for anyone feeling overwhelmed or depressed.

Norway's stunning fjords has made it a popular expat location.

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The good news is that couples (or parents and children) who support each other effectively through an international move can become closer than ever before, on the same principle used by management consultants when they set up outdoor challenge seminars for corporate team-building. However, partners or family members can become  alienated and draw further apart if they have only each other to depend on but feel that they are not getting the support they need.

Take full advantage of technology.  Just ten or fifteen years ago, international phone calls cost one to four dollars a minute, and expats were thrilled to have access to a fax machine for rapid communication.

Today, computer technology has made it much easier to stay in touch during the dreaded transition period -- with a pocket PC, laptop or local Internet café, you can check in with friends and family, network with new or old colleagues, and work on projects, even if you are stuck in temporary housing and don’t know when you’ll have a permanent address or phone number, let alone your household shipments. Before you leave, simply sign up for a web-based e-mail service (such as Yahoo or MyWay) that you can check and use from anywhere.

Once you do settle down, an good Internet connection (now available in almost every country, although sometimes at a high price) not only provides instant communication and access to information, but also a wide range of work opportunities. A technical writer who recently attended one of my moving-abroad seminars told me he was planning to move to Paris, because it didn’t matter where he lived – all of his work could be done using e-mail and the Internet. When I lived in Santiago, Chile, I translated government documents from Spanish into English – and I still do, sending them back and forth as e-mail attachments. Other expats I know provide business support services, offer counseling or personal coaching, design websites, or write articles for top U.S. magazines – all using the Web to publish their portfolios, find clients and deliver their work.

As our book-writing example shows, the Internet has transformed expatriates’ opportunities out there in the world. Just be sure to prepare (with Internet research and e-mail contacts, among other measures) and to cut yourself (and any significant others traveling with you) plenty of slack during that first transitional year. Happy landings!
 

Patricia Linderman is co-author, with Melissa Hess, of The Expert Expatriate: Your Guide to Successful Relocation Abroad (Nicholas Brealey Intercultural, 2002).  For more information, see www.expatguide.info . She is also Associate Editor of Tales from a Small Planet, www.talesmag.com.

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