| Raising
a Blonde Samurai ~ Moving to Japan with Kids ~ Page 1 |
| Our five
years in Japan is coming to a close. With tears, affection, anger and laughter
we’ve embraced our adopted culture...
Poking holes
in a shoji screen is easy work for a three year old. Our little samurai
held off for four long months after arriving in Fukuoka, Japan. Tiny playful
fingers gave in to temptation; soon destroying the fragile paper panes
in our Japanese home. I quickly discovered holes and rips are common-in
everyone’s home. After ripping the screen in one room following an angry
moment, a few weeks later he repeated his experiments and learned that
not only shojis are made of paper, but so many of the closet doors.
Arriving in
December, we quickly discovered that our walls seemed to be made of paper
as well. |
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It was freezing
inside every room, and we learned there is little to no insulation to block
the chilly, damp winters in most of the buildings.
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Temperatures
drop to freezing from December to February. Even when our sliding typhoon
doors are closed, the noise from street traffic and neighbors (who rise
at 5:30 am to get ready for their day) echoes through and wakes us
reminding us just how thin the walls are. |
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| We live in
a company house: imagine a large, 2-storey, paper and pressboard home without
the yard-we are some of the lucky ones. Many expats who come to Japan are
given tiny “mansions” (apartments). Houses are heated by kerosene
space heaters or electric radiators, and cooled by split-unit air conditioners.
Our home, like most, has no yard so we enjoy many small, well-designed
parks every few blocks. There, our son learned that to be truly cool among
his Japanese friends, beetle collecting, sword fighting and karate practice
are the favored activities.
One of the
first Japanese words we learned was “Kawai-ee” (ka-why-eee: Japanese
for cute). Our blonde child stands out in a crowd in Japan and is treated
like a live doll. Curious strangers pinch his cheeks and fondle his hair.
Our son never understood their curiosity and hated this treatment, until
this year, when something clicked. Now he believes he is a samurai superhero. |
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Offshore
Resources Gallery
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| Neighbors
here can be painfully curious. We were surprised when they began walking
into our home bearing gifts and expecting a tour. Curious about our western
lifestyle and very fashionable to have western friends, they were anxious
to visit. As intrusive as they sometimes were in the first few weeks, everyone
was exceptionally polite, and we could never turn anyone away. One afternoon
the doorbell rang, and I opened the door to be faced by a police officer.
I was quite worried but with some help from our handy Japanese dictionary
we realized he was only there to check who was moving into his jurisdiction,
where we were from, and how many were in our family. That was a first for
us.
Japan is
a
wonderful country, full of new opportunities and experiences, but we are
constantly reminded that we are outsiders in their contradictory world
of ancient tradition, discipline, state-of-the-art electronics, and the
birthplace of Pokemon. We have experienced Japanese aversion to change;
they will not change quickly for anyone, even themselves. In order to survive
and function here we had to be open-minded and adaptable. It is after all,
their culture and we have loved our years in Japan.
PRACTICAL
INSIGHTS |
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Almost everything
is different in Japan and at times culture shock can be crippling. For
two months the three of us were cranky and emotional. For me, the cure
was found on the internet in a local virtual support network and by making
friends with other foreigners.
During those
early days, I joined a foreign mother’s group where everyone swapped tears,
stories, information and contacts. Studying some Japanese was very helpful,
but I must admit that after four years in Japan the only word I can read
is “ramen” (ra-men: noodle soup). Janglish, a spoken street combination
of Japanese and English, is very handy and allows us to pass many communication
barriers.
EDUCATION |
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Offshore
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Kindergarten
and Elementary Schools
Early on we decided
on Japanese Kindergarten which was very frustrating for us. Some young
Japanese boys are aggressive and the education system doesn’t help much
because there is little discipline. Many teachers seem to think they should
let the kids work it out themselves and boys are often considered to be
uncontrollable. Girls are expected to be sweet, cute, quiet and polite.
On most days
our son came home from school with a scratch or bruise. Although he had
many friends, the teachers didn’t know what to do with this wild foreign
boy. Fearing the long-term emotional and educational consequences, we moved
him to the Fukuoka International School.
Japanese schools
do offer some people a good alternative to western education. It just didn’t
work for us. There are obvious benefits to enrolling children in Japanese
school, including the opportunity for them to learn another language. Our
son adapted quickly there and I rarely understood him during that year
because he was speaking mostly Japanese. The level of Japanese math in
schools is impressive. I recently watched a Mexican boy, who has been going
to Japanese school since kindergarten, complete his grade 3 homework. He
was working at a much higher level than kids in our “advanced” system.
HEALTHCARE
Going to the doctor
in Japan was a refreshing experience; the majority see patients on a first
come first served basis. We have found doctors here to be professional
and reasonably priced. Some are trained in the US and speak English quite
well, but procedures often are not as cutting-edge as in North America
or Europe. In our city, there are practitioners aplenty and waiting times
reasonable. The trick is finding someone who is well qualified and understands
westerners -- get a recommendation from another foreigner. Adapting to
a new culture was hard on our family’s health and we needed a doctor sooner
than expected. Unfortunately, we forgot to ask where we should go in the
middle of the night; our son came down with asthma and we had quite a time
finding a doctor or hospital open at 3 am. Lesson learned.
I have seen through
friends’ experience that having a baby in Japan can be a wonderful experience.
There are many modern specialty hospitals dealing only with women’s health
and childbirth. Some of these hospitals are downright luxurious. I visited
a woman who had a baby here; she had just returned from her facial and
before being released she and her husband were treated to a romantic celebration
dinner at the hospital. The main downside of having a baby here is that
relatives from home often cannot be on hand for the event.
Acupuncture has
become a favorite treatment of ours. It works on many complaints and our
doctor treats the entire family. With my back problems it has been especially
helpful. Three months after moving to Japan, I bent over to pick up some
papers and fell flat to the floor. I lay on the couch while my husband
ran to the neighbors to ask their advice. They recommended an acupuncturist
who they touted to be the specialist for several sumo wrestlers, as well
as one of the acupuncturists for the Nagano Olympics. His office was located
near our home and after the first treatment- which took over 2 hours- I
was able to walk. After four more treatments, I was cured. It had been
a recurring problem and has never returned.
Throughout Japan
there are doctors and pharmacies that specialize in “kampo” (kam-po : Chinese
medicine). With a little bravery I entered a recommended shop and they
sold me a herb that is claimed in the US to improve the immune system;
in China they use it prevent all sorts of problems. I had been experiencing
a lot of colds and flu, but since beginning to use their medicine I have
been sick only three times. A friend has very bad allergies and she finally
resorted to kampo. She claims the medicine made her sixty percent better.
SECURITY
Japan is very
safe: children as young as five walk alone; families leave their homes
and cars open. In Tokyo, my friend left her purse in Starbucks (yes, Starbucks
is here); she walked out leaving it at her table. After going a few blocks
she stopped and ran back in panic only to find it sitting exactly where
she had left it. Another friend dropped his passport on the subway in Tokyo;
it was picked up and returned to him that day at the train office. A woman
from our school dropped her wallet on the street in Fukuoka; a passerby
opened it, saw her foreign ID and took it to the school nearby. Stories
like this are common. Theft does occur from time to time, but it is rare.
While sipping
coffee at a friend’s home one day we heard a commotion on the street. “Robber!
Robber!” someone shouted. A man was running up the street with what seemed
to be a pile of clothes. A woman was in chase screaming for someone to
stop him. It seems the man wanted her lingerie hanging on the clothesline
outside of her home. He grabbed it and ran! He became so frightened by
her screaming and no doubt being caught in the act, he dropped it and disappeared
around the corner.
GETTING
OUT
Everyone who moves
here learns to adapt to Japanese tastes somewhat. Our son is Dutch-Canadian
but loves sushi, sashimi, sesame, whole dried fish, noodles, rice, sea
vegetables, soya sauce and all tofu products. He will choose onigiri (own-ee-gee-ree:
rice balls with seaweed instead of french fries any day.
Japan is a
culinary experience we will not forget. Our favorite memory is having the
sushi chef chop up a squirming octopus in front of us and offer us a morsel
of tentacle still moving. It was delicious. For those who crave other flavors,
there are plenty of restaurant choices: American, Italian, Mexican, French,
Chinese, Indian....
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Family Outings
and Weekends
There’s no shortage
of recreational activities here. Only two reasons keep us from being busy
every day of the week: exhaustion and a rapidly thinningpocketbook. Parks,
beaches, lakes, fishing, surfing, and hiking are a few of the free excursions
we've discovered. Japanese theme parks are famous worldwide for their mastery
of duplication, cleanliness, organization, and large entrance fees.
Hotels in Japan
are outrageously expensive, often with tiny rooms and the most expensive
part of travel here. They charge per person rates; children’s’ rates are
sometimes slightly discounted, but you will pay for an extra bed. Rates
are rarely less than 10,000 yen per person (about 80$ US), and in resorts,
luxury hotels or chains can be a lot higher. As a result, we usually opt
for day trips.
Many hotels
have wonderful, “onsens” (on-sen: hot mineral bath). Reasonable daytime
fees will gain you entrance. A soak in hot mineral water laced with herbs,
pearl powder or even wine, is a soothing experience. Our son has joined
us several times and loves to play around the pools but finds the water
far too hot to sit in. Kyushu boasts several small towns known for their
onsen hotels. In some areas, the waters are mineral laden and helpful for
medical afflictions such as arthritis, skin conditions.
Often traveling
out of the country is cheaper than traveling within. International flight
and package prices are very competitive. A number of travel agents advertise
in the English newspapers in Japan and have English-speaking staff. The
booking procedure is a little tedious but their service is good.
SPORTS
The baseball season
brings a different mood upon the country. Taxi drivers listen to and watch
(on their car television) every game. Fans
purchase high
quality baseball gloves and play on the streets. Baseball in Japan is fun and entrance
fees can be reasonable for a seat-as low as 8$ US for a professional game.
Cheering by excited fans throughout the game makes the stadiums noisy and
during the seventh inning thousands of large whistling balloons are sent
flying by spectators.
Soccer crowds
are reserved compared to Europe and South America. Tickets to professional
games can be 8$ US and up.
Watching Sumo
is a favorite pastime for some people, for others the most boring afternoon
imaginable. Tickets are expensive, 40$ US and up. The competition goes
on for hours ending with the champions battling to see which wrestler can
topple the other onto the mat. Japanese often show up for only the last
two hours.
I was invited
to visit a sumo training camp during one Fukuoka season. Even watching
a giant wrestler have his hair styled was interesting. Every strand of
their long hair had to be combed, waxed and tied perfectly into place.
Standing by the practice ring, I felt the dirt floor rumble as they threw
each other to the ground. A quick reminder of the enormous weight they
carry. Meals are regimented, the menu doesn’t vary much, huge bowls of
fatty soup are served; novice wrestlers eat last.
Page 2 of
this article tells you all you want to know about shopping, cherry blossoms,
children's days, festivals, the arts, and the customs of bowing, gift giving,
and taking off your shoes.
Go
To Page 2 |
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