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Our five years in Japan is coming to a close. With tears, affection, anger and laughter we’ve embraced our adopted culture...  Poking holes in a shoji screen is easy work for a three year old. Our little samurai held off for four long months after arriving in Fukuoka, Japan. Tiny playful fingers gave in to temptation; soon destroying the fragile paper panes in our Japanese home. I quickly discovered holes and rips are common-in everyone’s home. After ripping the screen in one room following an angry moment, a few weeks later he repeated his experiments and learned that not only shojis are made of paper, but so many of the closet doors.  Arriving in December, we quickly discovered that our walls seemed to be made of paper as well. It was freezing inside every room, and we learned there is little to no insulation to block the chilly, damp winters in most of the buildings. Temperatures drop to freezing from December to February. Even when our sliding typhoon doors are closed, the noise from street traffic and neighbors (who rise at 5:30 am to get ready for their day) echoes through and wakes us reminding us just how thin the walls are.  We live in a company house: imagine a large, 2-storey, paper and pressboard home without the yard-we are some of the lucky ones. Many expats who come to Japan are given tiny “mansions” (apartments). Houses are heated by kerosene space heaters or electric radiators, and cooled by split-unit air conditioners. Our home, like most, has no yard so we enjoy many small, well-designed parks every few blocks. There, our son learned that to be truly cool among his Japanese friends, beetle collecting, sword fighting and karate practice are the favored activities.  One of the first Japanese words we learned was “Kawai-ee” (ka-why-eee: Japanese for cute). Our blonde child stands out in a crowd in Japan and is treated like a live doll. Curious strangers pinch his cheeks and fondle his hair. Our son never understood their curiosity and hated this treatment, until this year, when something clicked. Now he believes he is a samurai superhero. Neighbors here can be painfully curious. We were surprised when they began walking into our home bearing gifts and expecting a tour. Curious about our western lifestyle and very fashionable to have western friends, they were anxious to visit. As intrusive as they sometimes were in the first few weeks,

Canadian born in the popular summer destination, Prince Edward Island, I studied art throughout childhood which steered me to commercial design. Then, joining the family retail business in management, I enjoyed the diverse PEI lifestyle until my thirties when I cut the ties to travel around the world. Eventually dropping my bags in Northern Queensland, Australia, I explored the reefs and backcountry for a year. . I put down roots in Curaçao, Netherlands Antilles where I started a publishing/consulting company developing business promotions: tourism, ports, offshore, telephone and internet companies. One of my major clients was the Curaçao Tourism Development Bureau. Landing a contract with several other companies as a consortium to create an integrated tourism package for the island (funded by the European Union) we developed and produced a comprehensive map, guidebook in several languages, signage system and dive guidebook (which I authored).  . Following the completion of the project and birth of our son Marcus, I left with my Dutch-Curaçaoan husband for Fukuoka, Japan for 5 years. There I have studied Japanese culture, taught English, cooking, art and started a home based vintage Japanese kimono and antique business. . Additional Resources Hospitals Worldwide -  Moving & Living Overseas - Living & Working in Japan -  Articles on Living Overseas - Contact Cynthia Cudmore-Mulder - .

Japan is a wonderful country, full of new opportunities and experiences, but we are constantly reminded that we are outsiders in their contradictory world of ancient tradition, discipline, state-of-the-art electronics, and the birthplace of Pokemon. We have experienced Japanese aversion to change; they will not change quickly for anyone, even themselves. In order to survive and function here we had to be open-minded and adaptable. It is after all, their culture and we have loved our years in Japan. PRACTICAL INSIGHTS  Culture Shock Almost everything is different in Japan and at times culture shock can be crippling. For two months the three of us were cranky and emotional. For me, the cure was found on the internet in a local virtual support network and by making friends with other foreigners. During those early days, I joined a foreign mother’s group where everyone swapped tears, stories, information and contacts. Studying some Japanese

Our Neighbors: Bride and Mother

EDUCATION Kindergarten and Elementary Schools Early on we decided on Japanese Kindergarten which was very frustrating for us. Some young Japanese boys are aggressive and the education system doesn’t help much because there is little discipline. Many teachers seem to think they should let the kids work it out themselves and boys are often considered to be uncontrollable. Girls are expected to be sweet, cute, quiet and polite.  On most days our son came home from school with a scratch or bruise. Although he had many friends, the teachers didn’t know what to do with this wild foreign boy. Fearing the long-term emotional and educational consequences, we moved him to the Fukuoka International School. Japanese schools do offer some people a good alternative to western education. It just didn’t work for us. There are obvious benefits to enrolling children in Japanese school, including the opportunity for them to learn another language. Our son adapted quickly there and I rarely understood him during that year because he was speaking mostly Japanese. The level of Japanese math in schools is impressive. I recently watched a Mexican boy, who has been going to Japanese school since kindergarten, complete his grade 3 homework. He was working at a much higher level than kids in our “advanced” system.

Japanese School Uniform

HEALTHCARE

Medical Doctors
Going to the doctor in Japan was a refreshing experience; the majority see patients on a first come first served basis. We have found doctors here to be professional and reasonably priced. Some are trained in the US and speak English quite well, but procedures often are not as cutting-edge as in North America or Europe. In our city, there are practitioners aplenty and waiting times reasonable. The trick is finding someone who is well qualified and understands westerners -- get a recommendation from another foreigner. Adapting to a new culture was hard on our family’s health and we needed a doctor sooner than expected. Unfortunately, we forgot to ask where we should go in the middle of the night; our son came down with asthma and we had quite a time finding a doctor or hospital open at 3 am. Lesson learned. 

Women’s Health
I have seen through friends’ experience that having a baby in Japan can be a wonderful experience. There are many modern specialty hospitals dealing only with women’s health and childbirth. Some of these hospitals are downright luxurious. I visited a woman who had a baby here; she had just returned from her facial and before being released she and her husband were treated to a romantic celebration dinner at the hospital. The main downside of having a baby here is that relatives from home often cannot be on hand for the event.

Alternative Medicine
Acupuncture has become a favorite treatment of ours. It works on many complaints and our doctor treats the entire family. With my back problems it has been especially helpful. Three months after moving to Japan, I bent over to pick up some papers and fell flat to the floor. I lay on the couch while my husband ran to the neighbors to ask their advice. They recommended an acupuncturist who they touted to be the specialist for several sumo wrestlers, as well as one of the acupuncturists for the Nagano Olympics. His office was located near our home and after the first treatment- which took over 2 hours- I was able to walk. After four more treatments, I was cured. It had been a recurring problem and has never returned.

Chinese Medicine
Throughout Japan there are doctors and pharmacies that specialize in “kampo” (kam-po : Chinese medicine). With a little bravery I entered a recommended shop and they sold me a herb that is claimed in the US to improve the immune system; in China they use it prevent all sorts of problems. I had been experiencing a lot of colds and flu, but since beginning to use their medicine I have been sick only three times. A friend has very bad allergies and she finally resorted to kampo. She claims the medicine made her sixty percent better.
 

SECURITY Japan is very safe: children as young as five walk alone; families leave their homes and cars open. In Tokyo, my friend left her purse in Starbucks (yes, Starbucks is here); she walked out leaving it at her table. After going a few blocks she stopped and ran back in panic only to find it sitting exactly where she had left it. Another friend dropped his passport on the subway in Tokyo; it was picked up and returned to him that day at the train office. A woman from our school dropped her wallet on the street in Fukuoka; a passerby opened it, saw her foreign ID and took it to the school nearby. Stories like this are common. Theft does occur from time to time, but it is rare. While sipping coffee at a friend’s home one day we heard a commotion on the street. “Robber! Robber!” someone shouted. A man was running up the street with what seemed to be a pile of clothes. A woman was in chase screaming for someone to stop him. It

Kawaiiee Kids

seems the man wanted her lingerie hanging on the clothesline outside of her home. He grabbed it and ran! He became so frightened by her screaming and no doubt being caught in the act, he dropped it and disappeared around the corner.
 

GETTING OUT New Flavors Everyone who moves here learns to adapt to Japanese tastes somewhat. Our son is Dutch-Canadian but loves sushi, sashimi, sesame, whole dried fish, noodles, rice, sea vegetables, soya sauce and all tofu products. He will choose onigiri (own-ee-gee-ree: rice balls with seaweed instead of french fries any day. Japan is a culinary experience we will not forget. Our favorite memory is having the sushi chef chop up a squirming octopus in front of us and offer us a morsel of tentacle still moving. It was delicious. For those who crave other flavors, there are plenty of restaurant choices: American, Italian, Mexican, French, Chinese, Indian.... Family Outings and Weekends There’s no shortage of recreational activities here. Only two reasons keep us from being busy every day of the week: exhaustion and a rapidly thinning

Roasted Chestnut Shop

pocketbook. Parks, beaches, lakes, fishing, surfing, and hiking are a few of the free excursions we've discovered. Japanese theme parks are famous worldwide for their mastery of duplication, cleanliness, organization, and large entrance fees.

Hotels and Onsens
Hotels in Japan are outrageously expensive, often with tiny rooms and the most expensive part of travel here. They charge per person rates; children’s’ rates are sometimes slightly discounted, but you will pay for an extra bed. Rates are rarely less than 10,000 yen per person (about 80$ US), and in resorts, luxury hotels or chains can be a lot higher. As a result, we usually opt for day trips.

Many hotels have wonderful, “onsens” (on-sen: hot mineral bath). Reasonable daytime fees will gain you entrance. A soak in hot mineral water laced with herbs, pearl powder or even wine, is a soothing experience. Our son has joined us several times and loves to play around the pools but finds the water far too hot to sit in. Kyushu boasts several small towns known for their onsen hotels. In some areas, the waters are mineral laden and helpful for medical afflictions such as arthritis, skin conditions.

Travel Abroad
Often traveling out of the country is cheaper than traveling within. International flight and package prices are very competitive. A number of travel agents advertise in the English newspapers in Japan and have English-speaking staff. The booking procedure is a little tedious but their service is good.
 

SPORTS Baseball The baseball season brings a different mood upon the country. Taxi drivers listen to and watch (on their car television) every game. Baseball in Japan is fun and entrance fees can be reasonable for a seat-as low as 8$ US for a professional game. Cheering by excited fans throughout the game makes the stadiums noisy and during the seventh inning thousands of large whistling balloons are sent flying by spectators.  Soccer Soccer crowds are reserved compared to Europe and South America. Tickets to professional games can be 8$ US and up.

Take me out to the ball game ...

Sumo
Watching Sumo is a favorite pastime for some people, for others the most boring afternoon imaginable. Tickets are expensive, 40$ US and up. The competition goes on for hours ending with the champions battling to see which wrestler can topple the other onto the mat. Japanese often show up for only the last two hours.

I was invited to visit a sumo training camp during one Fukuoka season. Even watching a giant wrestler have his hair styled was interesting. Every strand of their long hair had to be combed, waxed and tied perfectly into place. Standing by the practice ring, I felt the dirt floor rumble as they threw each other to the ground. A quick reminder of the enormous weight they carry. Meals are regimented, the menu doesn’t vary much, huge bowls of fatty soup are served; novice wrestlers eat last.

Page 2 of this article tells you all you want to know about shopping, cherry blossoms, children's days, festivals, the arts, and the customs of bowing, gift giving, and taking off your shoes.
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