French Polynesia consists of 3 island chains. Moving from East to West you will find the Marquesas, then the Tuamotu, and finally the Society Islands. They are radically different geologically, but to my eyes, culturally identical, though I’m certain that the natives would disagree. It’s hard to penetrate the cultures on a deeper level when we don’t have a common language, but the kindness & warmth that these people exude matches one another. The drastic geological differences are obvious to any navigator. The Marquesan islands are tall dead volcanic remnants. Everything is colored in green or black. The Tuamotus are atolls. That’s a fringe of reef that denotes the outline of the now missing volcano. In its place is the lagoon that the reef encircles. They are flat and sandy. From a distance, it appears the palm trees are growing right out of the sea. The Society Island chain has the big name allure of places like Tahiti, Moorea, and Bora Bora. Geographically, they are a combination of the previous 2; tall and verdant with a surrounding reef. I’m typing this from the Arue Lagoon in Tahiti. But first let me backtrack.

The passage from The Marquesan islands to the Tuamotu atoll of Kauehi was bliss. It took us 4 days and 4 hours, and the sailing conditions were perfect. Every once in awhile I fall in love with sailing all over again. It was one of those passages. The winds were a constant 12 knots, the sea state was flat and easy, and Suzi baked nonstop. We dropped the hook in the idyllic lagoon just south of the town. In fact, “town” might be generous. It was more like a village, or even a hamlet. There wasn’t 1 hotel, motel, bed & breakfast, or even youth hostel. You won’t find a bed for rent or a restaurant or bar anywhere on the atoll. If you don’t sail there, you will never see it. The way the moon and stars collaborated over that gin colored lagoon while being framed by gently bent palms was deliriously intoxicating. Don’t miss out on this island. For me - that one atoll has made the whole trip a jackpot.

Kauehi set some firsts for me. It was my first atoll. It was also my first lagoon. There is one pass into it, and the currents can run up to 8 knots. It was only 100 yards across so there isn’t much room for mistakes. Once through, we rhumb lined it for the village, being careful to miss the coral heads. The clarity of the water makes spotting them easy as long as the sun is over head or behind. Hence, timing any passage now involves: the position of the sun, the cycle of the tide, and the wind direction (because waves will break if the tide and wind direction are opposing). These used to be called “The Danger Islands”. It’s better now with the advent of GPS, but some of my charts haven’t been updated since 1839 and coral heads can grow a foot a decade. The pucker factor still exists. Also - Sharks love atolls. I reckon it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. It makes for a big barrel but with lots of fish. One day I saw an 8 foot shark swimming alongside me as I was kayaking. It was a little disconcerting in such perfectly clear water.

Here’s the scoop on the pearls: it’s supposedly illegal for anyone to take them out of French waters without the proper paperwork that you can only get from an “authorized dealer”. It’s like the Debeers family trying to control the diamond trade. “Authorized dealer” means that everyone got rich on the sale since these things sell for up to $300,000 US.  I can’t really believe that any official will really be concerned that I couldn’t find an “authorized dealer”. I suppose I short circuited the system a bit when I traded 7 tiny drill bits for 24 pearls. I threw in a plastic storage box with dividers, and he gave Suzi 2 extra necklaces. I wish all transactions were so generously concluded.

Actually, I was so overly pleased with the experience that I went back and gave him a bag full of limes (they won’t grow here with their thin soil and salted water table). The most interesting facet of our negotiation was that we couldn’t speak one word of a common language. I keep trying to speak Spanish with a generic accent in hope that it will have a few words in common with French, while he grunts vowels in his low island dialect. It was a perfect human experience. Every time we saw him he had another gift for Suzi. When we went to land, there was no reason to bring money. You can trade for everything and they will front their end of the bargain. The only thing you leave as a marker is your word. It’s how it used to be, and how it should be, but in the vast majority of the world – it isn’t, and it never will be again. That’s a crying shame, but it sure is bliss when you can still find honorable people who trust. 

So was the Pahua, which is the name of the giant clam that you find all over the coral heads that dot the reef. Some are big enough to get a leg caught in. We ate it in curry and coconut sauce. The next course was turtle. I feel a little guilty about it now, but – man was it phenomenal. It tastes like venison with the softness of tender brisket. After dinner we ran our hands through his buckets of gorgeous pearls with their gun metal gray and black metallic hues. I think I can now understand why some people become fixated on baubles. It was as if I was a caveman with the world’s most beautiful “bling”. Those spheres captured my attention for hours as we fingered his ocean treasure and learned what a dealer looks for in a perfect pearl. 

My culinary delights didn’t end with Francky and Madeleine. Samwell became another friend who hunted the giant coconut crab. This thing is so large that it can rip open coconuts. We ate one, and it was good, but not outstanding. You have to boil it for an hour (I hate burning that much propane) and it’s a ton of work for meat that doesn’t even approach Snow crab let alone Alaskan King. Better to horde pearls and ask around for anyone having turtle for dinner. It was a sad parting with the good friends we had made on Kauehi, but we had to push on to the next chain of islands.

A wave is a frequency you can see with the naked eye. No oscilloscope necessary. When the waves are long period swells the size isn’t much of a problem. However, when you get short period steep waves that are wind generated over long distances, the conditions can become horrible. Add to that 30+ knot winds that are only 10 degrees off your nose, constant squalls and time at sea becomes rather unpleasant. 

The passage from our paradise that was Kauehi to the island of Tahiti was ugly. Real ugly. It was the first time I ever saw Suzi look like she might be sick. And we had it easy. We beat the really bad weather by a day. Our friends, who left a day later, had 50+ knots and everyone broke something. That’s the real problem with bad weather – It isn’t the fear of losing your life (Well, I haven’t been in any weather that severe, and I try with all my brain power never to be), it’s the cost of repairs and the time out of your life it takes looking for the material and then doing it all yourself.  The truth is, I avoid rough weather because I’m cheap and lazy. 

Though it was a tough passage Tahiti has been well worth it. I took my first hot shower in 5 months and 9000 miles. Hot running water is a luxury of the first world (But are you really a 1st world country without toilet seats? Come on France), and Tahiti is absolutely the first world. It’s France without any neighbors to make them feel insecure. 

The people here have been wonderful. Get this – Suzi and I were hitchhiking when 2 young French guys, who are doing their internship in marketing, stopped to give us a ride. (It helps to stand next to a hot blonde). The next day they picked us up to take us surfing, cooked us lunch, served us French wine and then lent us a scooter for 2 days. Suzi and I circumnavigated the entire island. It’s extremely expensive. There are food wagons that set up in their own spots around the city once night falls and you can get fantastic fare for “reasonable prices”. Poisson cru is my favorite. It’s not unlike Mexican ceviche but they use a lot of coconut milk and add cucumber.