America is such a polyglot culture that it is impossible to stereotype a country of a quarter billion people who literally come from every country in the world (if you assume that the Indians came over the land bridge from Russia). Yet people from all over the world have an itch to walk straight up to you and yell, "Die American Pig!" or "Get out of Bosnia" or any other slogan of the week. It is questionable whether it is America or, for that matter, its power tool, the United Nations that aggravates or prolongs regional tensions when trying to relieve them. Do Russia and the United States have the right to military interference in foreign countries? Do aid programs actually create starvation and suffering by artificially shifting populations to refugee camps, and thereby increasing the birth rate and then creating total disaster when the supplies stop? America's biggest fault is that we instinctively rush in to save the world when the starving children and shattered bodies hit the headlines, but when we actually learn the real complexities and cost we recoil in horror and disappear.

Much of the anger toward Americans is a direct result of others' perception of our need to control foreign governments. If the government feels it lacks sufficient political clout in certain regions of the world, it brings out the checkbook. The U.S. bought peace in the Middle East by writing checks to both sides, thereby aggravating fanatics on both sides. We also support a wide variety of dictators, despots and other nondemocratically elected rulers because they are less antagonistic toward the U.S. The U.S. also wages financial, moral, covert (and not so covert) operations against enemies of the state, such as the Islamic fundamentalists, drug dealers, unfriendly dictators and gangsters. We do this by supporting (or sometimes creating) opposition forces with money, weapons and military training. This creates a lot of ill will towards "Americans" regardless of their beliefs or background.

You may find it surprising to see how obvious the U.S. "covert" presence is in Third World countries. Terrorist groups keep very good tabs on CIA and other government agents in their countries. And hey guess what? Spies look just like you.

The problem for the traveler is that in some areas, such as the Middle East, Southeast Asia, Central Africa and areas where Americans are rarely seen, you will be assumed to be working for or allied with American intelligence agencies. Although I'm Canadian, I have been accused on numerous occasions of being "CIA" in war zones simply because I had no plausible explanation as to why I was there.

If you look and act like an American you will be assumed to be gathering information. You'll run the risk of confrontation, kidnapping, detainment or harassment. Execution is rare, since Americans are worth more alive (financially and politically) than dead.

How To Survive Being a Yankee Pig

Whether you accept it or not, if you are of European extraction, or were raised on T-bones and Pepsis or even wear Eddie Bauer gear, you will be taken for a tourist Yank in most of Russia, Asia, Australasia or Central and South America. Africans will probably mistake you for being German or French, and the Chinese have a tendency to think all Westerners and Europeans are the same.

Even the African-American traveler finds himself being simply a rich American when he looks for his roots in black Africa. In all cases, understand that along with your American Tourister luggage and Nikes, you carry a different kind of baggage. About 200 years of imperialism, covert action, warfare, occupation and political interference. Also a large part of the world just resents the fact that you are so damned affluent and healthy, and they're not. You may not have bombed Laos, smart-bombed innocent Iraqi children, overthrown every Latin America dictator, shot Moros in the Philippines or cut down the rain forests to grow cows for your Big Macs, but the chances are good you will be blamed for it.

• Dress conservatively, stay away from obvious American brands and logos and do not wear signs of wealth (gold watches, jewelry, expensiv cameras, etc.).
• Learn or try to use the local language even if only to say "thank you" and "excuse me." Even learning the phrase, "I love your wonderful country," can get you a lot farther than, "Why the hell don't you wogs learn to speak American?"
• Call the local embassy to find out the do's and don'ts.
• Don't wear American flag pins, hand out Uncle Sam decals or argue foreign policy. Focus on learning rather than expostulating.
• Be compassionate, understanding and noncommittal about the current situation of the country. If you are a target of an anti-American diatribe, ask the person to tell you what he would do if he was President of the United States. He will probably be too shocked at your passive intellectual response to stay angry.
• Simple items like sunglasses, air-conditioned cars and lack of language skills can create barriers and misunderstanding.
• Say hello to everyone you meet on the street and in the course of your travels. Look people straight in the eye and smile. Be polite, patient and helpful.

Fun-da-Mental Oases

There are many countries like Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Pakistan, Syria, and Afghanistan that would have Rush Limbaugh's head on a stick in less than fifteen minutes. These countries might have a Bill of Far Rights, but nothing that would protect your outspoken butt from a lifetime of incarceration or slow execution. They fall into two general categories. Fundamental and mental places. The first is usually a region where skateboarding, platform shoes and daytime talk shows will never see the light of day. These areas make the Puritans look like sex junket tourists to Bangkok. The second are places run by people, who with the aid of a pair of Ray Bans and no sense of humor, are simply the meanest baddest people that week. So lets start with surviving fundamentalist places-places like Afghanistan, Sudan and Iran and other dust-blown centers of religious zeal.

But before I chip in on a Patagonian time share with Salman Rushdie, I would be remiss to point out that not all fundamentalists are Islamic. We have our own religious hotheads Stateside, and even The Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda, makes the Ikwhan seem like a Berkeley political science class.

One billion of the world's inhabitants are Muslims and only 18 percent are found in the Arab world. Most live east of Karachi; 30 percent of Muslims are found on the Indian subcontinent, 20 percent in sub-Saharan Africa, 17 percent in Southeast Asia and 10 percent in the CIS and China. There are an estimated 5 million Muslims in the United States. Most Muslims will tell you that Jews, Christians and followers of their own faith are all "people of the Book" and that there is more to bind us than divide us. It just seems that the message doesn't reach the splinter groups who sign the checks for all those weapons, explosives and training camp supplies.

There is also a historic antagonism between Christianity and Islam with the line drawn through the Balkans and Transcaucasia and epicentering in Jerusalem. This primal distrust between infidel/crusader, jew/arab and west/east is still very much a part of world politics. This creates problems for Westerners when you travel to regions where the local media has inflamed people against the west.

Islam

There continues to be confusion and distrust generated by the media who are unable to understand the basic similarities between Islam and Christianity. Media focuses on the disparities, and usually the most extreme examples like the Taliban, Moammar Qaddafi and Saddam Hussein. The presentation of Islamic fundamentalism as a religion rather than a political agenda is one example. The linking of the Koran with politics is another. When was the last time you saw footage of Bill Clinton praying at church intercut with his political speeches? Yet we are shown shots of Mecca intercut with AK-47 waving loonies on tanks or in the '80s it was pictures of Saudis praying with lines at gas pumps. Christian fundamentalism is just as dangerous and skewed as any other hard-core belief, but most Americans head into the Muslim world with a negative and dangerous image of Islam and its followers.

How to Survive Fundamentalist Places

When traveling to a fundamentalist-oriented, religiously zealous country, remember to smile, mind your own business, respect their customs and leave your personal opinions at home. Some religions tend to be a little more tolerant of loud-mouthed, boorish outsiders, but areas like the Middle East and Far East are very intolerant. It's touch and go if you are a heathen, risky to be a Jew and better to just be a Christian if you are asked.

• Muslims are more conservative in rural areas and underdeveloped countries. Despite other guidebooks' warnings, Muslims understand that Christians have different customs and won't lop your head off the first time you make a faux pas by passing the falafel with your left hand.
• Be very careful in the area of sexual conduct, behavior at religious sites and deportment with women and religious objects. Sexually provocative clothes, obscene gestures, defiling the Koran, theft or insulting the prophet and women will get you in trouble.
• Do not proselytize, preach or conduct religious functions without permission of the local government. Do not wear religious symbols or use expressions that use the name of Christ, Allah, God or other religious entities.
• Read and understand the Koran and tenants of Islam. Most Muslims will be impressed that you have read the Koran and if you ask them questions about their religion.
• Feel free to admit that you are a Christian, but express your interest in knowing more about the Koran and Islamic way of life. Being a "student of all religions" is a good cop-out for the philosophically challenged. But beware that students and older men are very pleased to proselytize the word of Allah to a potential convert.
• If you are Jewish and traveling in a fundamental Islamic, your life may be at risk by identifying yourself as Jewish or discussing an opposing point of view. Also understand there are strong feelings between Shia and Sunni Muslim sects.
• Do not squeeze hands when shaking, you may touch your chest after shaking hands in the traditional Muslim greeting. The left hand is considered unclean because, yes, rural Muslims wash their nether regions with that hand. Muslims also squat to urinate and find the Western habit of urinating with legs akimbo and penis pointing, far too theatrical for their tastes.
• Dress cleanly and conservatively, remove your shoes in mosques and temples. Do not point the soles of your feet to your host, use your right hand to eat, greet and pass objects around. Expect to be kissed on both cheeks by men. Friday is the holy day and anything else you need to know will be communicated to you by your hosts or friends.
• Ask permission before taking pictures, do not insist or sneak photos. Do not take photographs of women or the infirm or elderly. Don't blow your nose in public. Don't eat walking around. Don't admire objects in a host's home (he will feel obligated to give them to you). Gifts are expected when visiting homes. Do not show open affection. Do not show undue attention to women. The list goes on, but don't be paranoid, just respectful.
• Read up on the cultures of each region and ask permission when in doubt.