Dear Robin,
Crime in Johannesburg is the same as in New York (at least  when I used to live there).  I went to school at Cornell and people in Ithaca thought anyone like myself then, who wanted to live in New York and work in Harlem and South Bronx like I did, were mad.  I love Jo'burg with all my heart and always, and the stories the world hears about is not the reason I want to leave; I am just a citizen of the world that's all.  Don't even start me on many of my conspiracy theories about some of what I call the exaggerated global media 'machinery' that feeds the world all the stuff about my beautiful country and City.  It's the same about what we hear about Brazil, if I believed every word written about Brazil, I would not even be dreaming about coming to live there for a while, and that does not mean that I am naïve also, that crime is not there.  I know the politics of the economics et. al. and how these exacerbates crime...

In fact when I hear people talk about how dangerous Johannesburg is without being here I get so irritated (it's a good thing I am black, so my face/skin does not turn red!)  Which cosmopolitan city does not have it's fare share of crime?  That's the question.  SO tell your readers not to believe everything they read about Jozi (as we locals call it), if in doubt come check it out for yourself...

Signed,
Lenyalo 
 

Hi Robin,
Unfortunately danger exists in Sao Paulo, but then again, so do earthquakes in San Francisco. I felt some tremors while living in SF but never for once let them interfer with my love for that city. ( I have lived there during 3 different periods in my life).

Personally, I have never been assaulted, mugged or kidnapped in the  over 20 years I´ve lived São Paulo (and let it be known, I live in the "Manhattan" of SP, not isolated in a suburb.)  Now, my brother-in-law was here for 24 hours and was knocked down and mugged downtown when we were showing him some sights a few months ago!
The crime factor is very real here. It´s not like big cities in the States where you know where not to go. There is no safe neighborhoods; there may be "safer" areas.

You just have to be alert and get an orientation about coping with the crime. The newcomer is briefed about "Do´s" and "Don´ts" early on, usually when she joins the International Newcomers' Club ( especially active in SP and Rio) or by the company who moves the expat, or by the Brazilian friends .  After a while you get used to living here and with the right precautions get hooked on the place and end up wanting to extend your 3 yr. overseas assignment to.....who knows? ...20!

Abraços,
Marilyn
 

Hi Robin,
I read your article called "The Brazilian Mating Game" ...and I found it very interesting.
I got married to my Brazilian girlfriend 6 months ago and my life has been hell on wheels in dealing with all the jealousy on her side. She thinks I have relations other than friend with woman friends I have had for years and are strictly platonic..in public she tries to control me..and if my eye even passes in the direction of another woman..I am chastized badly...It was just ironic that I read this article becauseI have been going to a therapist to try to understand this TOTALLY foreign mindset in any woman I have ever known...and I have sadly decided that I am going to get a divorce. I will be signing the papers this week. 
Love the country, love the culture, but the women are crazy.
Life is a learning experience.

Signed,
Regretful
 

Hello Robin,
Last couple years I've been heavily researching expat living--every place from Uruguay to Thailand, Chile to Slovenia. Might you be able to give me a bit of current guidance re your travels & what they've taught you about great places to live?  Some of the articles I've read (Bali & Thailand) are older & I  want the most current info I can find. I'm 57, BA/MA English (UCSB/U of Iowa, Iowa City), taught community college lit & writing 11 years, now 22+ years as a carpenter-builder (own the project butstill swing a hammer myself).  My daughter's grown & married, finishing med school this year (UCSF) & then they're off to who-knows-where. I read, speak & write Spanish & enjoy foreign cultures. That's a quick rundown on me that might help you send a few quick pearls of wisdom my way...

All best,
Patrick from Virginia City, Nevada

Dear Patrick,
One person's paradise is another's overpriced tourist trap. What is one person's perfect European-like South American city is another's dilapidated, worn out town. The answer to "Which place is best?" is entirely subjective. 
Here's how to decide: Make a list of the qualities that are most important to you and then find the locations that fit that list best. With the internet, that's a cinch to do.  Narrow down your list to say three, and then visit each one. Trust your gut. If it feels right, rent a place there to live in for six months. You´ll know. 
Let me know what you find. Robin
 

Aloha Robin,
I live in Hawaii, on Maui with my wife and 15 year old son. My wife teaches English and I'm a counselor. When my son was 13 we took a year sabatical and traveled around the world. As you can imagine it was a year filled with  adventure and  a lifetime of experiences. My son is now in his first year of high school and is enjoying the experience. Since our return almost 3 years ago,my mind has been more on the road than in my office. Much to my surprise my son has indicated that he is willing to take off again. While we were away he at times got very homesick and I'm worried that now that he is a teenager he will miss his friends a great deal. One of my thoughts was to travel with other families and create our own little homeschool. I'm afraid that travelling with others will create a lot of problems. In your travels have you come across families doing long term travel?

Aloha,
Barry

Dear Barry,
I love the idea of families traveling together. Of course it can be done. Find other families with similar desires and together you can rent villas, or boats...getting the right mix could be a challenge, but it's doeable. In one way this is already being done by cruisers - that is people who live aboard boats. I've heard there are many  families with children who sail the Carib have thesebean during winter months. They homeschool using the internet. The kids on various boats get to know each other as more time is spent in port than out at sea. How hard could it be to find other famlies doing the same? I'm sure there are many, many families who are beached for 20 years or so due to  having children. What a far richer experience they'd get traveling. An interesting sidenote, is that some of the best ivy league schools in the U.S., seem to favor American children who've been schooled abroad - probably due in large part to the expanded awareness they can bring their classmates, but also because the education is more strenuous than here, and they are bilingual. Robin 
 

hi robin,,,,,,,,
You must be hitting good places  wild Xcalak,,,,,,,read another article and I was there for a couple of years back in the early 90's,,,and i remember dave and marie,,,they were just getting things going,,,,i worked up the road about a hour away,,,in the middle of nowhere for don traver at his small hotel,,then again at dive shop placer,,,,for tom and gerry,,,,,,,next to banker dial fishing resort,,,a crazy place down there,,spent 2 years there,,lots of fun and great diving,,,,but i'm always looking,,,,even at 71 i still love to find adventure places,,,that is why i'm here in joao pessoa,brazil,,,,,,,,ok,,,,,,,,,,,have a good one and tell dave and marie hi if you contact them,,,later,,,,,,,,,,,,

captbillnbrazil
 ,,,,,,Texas Gringo in Brazil,,,,,,
 "IN GOD WE TRUST"
 

Dear Robin,
I have learned that on a trip of 2 months with another individual, no matter who that individual is, modesty is impossible to maintain...thus, embarrassing bodily functions that were previously not practiced in the company of that other individual (no matter who that individual may be-- even a boyfriend) become commonplace. (example... ``diarrhea again´´, ``uuh, god,that one smelled´´, and ``good one´´.)
I have learned that anyone has the ability to ``loose it´´, no matter how even their temperament usually is. Food stress, sleep deprivation, and bus schedules are enough to tear any individual apart.
I have learned (and confirmed my inklings) that you do not know someone until you have travelled with someone for AT LEAST a month...
I have learned that the love I have for my family and friends grows exponentially as the miles and time between us pass. I miss you all and can not wait to hug each of you and reminisce over a coffee, a (BIG) margarita, chai tea, fresh pineapple, frozen yogurt from golden spoon, La Capilla dinner, sushi...
I have learned that SIKISAPA means fat ass in Quechua (the native language of many in the Peruvian Andes near Maachu Picchu) and CUCHI WADO means ladies man...(and to think, all these years we have lovingly called my sister ¨saddlebags´´ when I could have used Sikisapa)
I have learned that the things people feel entitled to often cause others much pain. Entitlement is an idea. It does not exist. all people should be entitled to food, shelter, clothing...and countless other things... but, entitled by who... We need to learn that we are not entitled to have anything--cars, meals, anything...I have remembered how to be grateful, thankful, simple, and giving.
I have learned that wanderlust quickly becomes ´´placement lust´´after 3 months on the road.
I have learned that Cachaza 51 (sugarcane alcohol) is equivalent to headache, pain, and a hell of a good time. 
I have learned that a travel partner´s habits are just as curious as those of the local people who reside in the foreign country one travels in. (for example... my boyfriend's eating habits..entirely carnivorous, only becoming omnivorous, however slightly, for pizza.)
I have learned that even the most independent person can become codependent if they let themselves - that once co´dependent, loneliness seems painfully more lonely than it did before.
I have learned that being content with oneself, truly at peace with one's solitary existence, thoughts, and desires, is the best way to be...sadly, most people never have these moments of clarity and peace.
I have learned that sometimes, the people you meet along the way can truly save you and make your trip, state of mind, and general happiness complete! (Thanks Karalynn)
I have learned that I have so much more to read!!! ( I have read so many great books this summer! I have to list them so that you too can read these great works:

   1. Mountains Beyond Mountains --Paul Farmer´s Biography
   2. The Beach --Nevil Shute ****
   3. The Horse Whisperer (okay, so this one was not ¨great´´
   4. Reefer Madness --Eric Schlosser*****
   5. Middle Sex --Jeffrey Euginides*****
   6. High Society --Ben Elton ******
   7. Lady Chatlerley´s Lover --d.h. lawrence (so famous, i had to read)
   8. Catch 22--Joseph Heller ****
   9. (this space goes to a mindless thriller I read in 2 days...)
  10. Michael Moore is a Big Fat Stupid White Man --David T. Hardy and Jason Clarke ****
  11. The Kite Runner --Khaled Hosseini ******
  12. Confessions of an Economic Hit Man --John Perkins (this is amazingly shocking!)*****
  13. Me Talk Pretty One Day --David Sedaris

I have learned that Ii am helplessly part of the "Western race to Produce and be efficient" Since coming to Antigua 6 days ago, I have been wandering around, housesearching, reading, running, relaxing, and.. well, after just 3 days, I was stir crazy. Then, one day, I walked past a woman selling pineapple on the street and I thought, wow, she sits there everyday, smiling, talking to friends, content, and unaware of this all-consuming desire to produce and be efficient.
And I wondered, who is cursed? Me, or she?
And now, I start work. I began work yesterday and I already have a schedule filled with delegations to other countries, meetings with union organizers, travel to maquillas, and so much more. (yippie, occupy my mind! make me DO!!!!!)

besos y abrazos,
yessica
open eyes, open heart, open mind 

That's it for this month. Keep the letters coming. This is the column where you, the reader, can share what you have learned. Although we can't answer each letter individually, we will feature a selection here each month. -Ed.