With a surface of only 13 800 Km2 and a population of 600 000, Crna Gora, as the locals call her (meaning Black Mountain) is the size of a postage stamp. And yet, this UNESCO protected nature lover’s paradise packs plenty of punch. Diverse landscapes, rugged terrain, dramatic gorges, spectacular rivers, striking fjords and a picture postcard coastline. There are 250km of beach (pebbles and sand), National parks and ski resorts, all complimented by the turquoise hue of the Adriatic Sea. The average temperature is 25°C in summer, with 230 days of sunshine per year.

Yet herein lies the challenge. I’m speaking about my original homeland and so I have a lot of people to answer to, however, I also want to be honest, as presenting you with a sugar-coated version of the place serves nobody. 

I’m not here to tell you about the coast. You’ve already heard about those parts and seen the polished images they show you in magazines and travel brochures.  Sure, she deserves her newfound title of beauty queen.  The coastline truly is spectacular.  But here’s the cold, hard truth. Once you look behind the curtain, the picture looks a little different. The beauty queen is only just managing to hang onto her crown in the midst of being spoilt by international new money investors.  By people whose only interest is to destroy her natural beauty for personal gain.  To chip away at her bones in order to superimpose horrendous, ostentatious hotels and amusement parks in the hope of gaining the tourist dollar.

If you decide to stay in a quaint hotel in old Budva town, you’ll have to bring earplugs to drown out the nightly accompaniment of blaring techno music from the nearby beach.  Off course there are people who like that sort of thing (mainly those under the age of 21) and there’s nothing wrong with it, but if you’re after a more wholesome experience of the Balkans, you’ll have to look elsewhere.

In the last 5 years, I’ve been back 4 times.  And each time, I walk away a little more disappointed by the organized, methodical destruction of the coast.
What’s more, the heavily inflated prices (accommodation and restaurants) are not worth it and far from what they should be. Unfortunately, money doesn’t always equal taste, or buy you good service.  One would think the relentless stream of billboards along the coast, advertising ghastly new apartment blocks do a good enough job in deterring anyone who has ever considered buying there. Not so. The promotions displayed in Cyrillic alphabet are aimed at wealthy Russians who are gobbling up the entire Montenegrin coast, now also known as ‘Moscow on the sea’. Hopefully, this newfound love affair is of the lasting kind and not just a momentary obsession or ‘hot’ alternative to the south of France. One would also hope there are enough Russians to fill all the luxury hotels and penthouses backed by Russian investment fund. General tourism has dropped considerably over the past 2 years. Last summer, the locals were so desperate for tourists; private rooms were advertised at 2 euro per night.

But that’s the old story.  Let’s craft the new one from here on in. You’ll have to listen closely because I’ll be whispering.
If you’re looking for a new adventure, a change of life, or an investment opportunity like no other you need to see the real Montenegro, to meet its people and to experience the true possibilities of what’s available. Forget the maps and guidebooks.  You need to get lost in the interior. That’s where you’ll find a classic symphony of pure, mountainous splendour that you wont see anywhere else on the planet.

The air is clean; the majority of food is naturally organic (because the people can’t afford to pollute it with chemicals).  Underground streams of pure, clean, mineral rich waters flow in abundance.  An acre of land costs very little. Annual land taxes are almost non-existent.

The average wage in Montenegro is around 300 euro per month. (A doctor can make 400 euro) and yet people manage. Maybe not abundantly, but they manage nonetheless. How would you fare on your pension or monthly income in comparison?  What would your life look like in a place where you can live a whole lot more for a whole lot less?

People still trade in food, livestock and physical labor. They help one another. They build each other’s homes.  Simple houses or huts made from stone and wood. They work the land.  They borrow each other’s machinery in return for a lift into town. Anyone who lives close by regularly drops by for coffee, to catch up on gossip, to philosophize or just to say hello. At dusk, echoes of voices are heard bouncing off the mountains and rebounding around the valley - an acoustic haven as the children are called home to eat. This is the real Montenegro. 

What does that mean for you? 

The reason I decided to write about this place (after some major procrastination) was because I wanted people to experience the unplugged version. I wanted you to meet the authentic Crna Gora by peeling back some layers and exposing some nerves.  Her heart, her soul and the heart of her soul, her seed. I wanted to introduce you to my family who live in Serbia, Montenegro, and Bosnia, as I am now forced to distinguish between the three places once joined and known as Yugoslavia.  I wanted to show you how the people live and how their lives have changed since the war. I wanted you to meet its women.  My mother, my grandmother, my aunts…three generations of bloodline which like a red ball of wool entangles, binds and unravels them all.

It’s highly ambitious of me, I know. It’s impossible to achieve all that in a 3000-word article, but even if I manage to capture just a fraction of the above, I’ll be forever grateful. 

Let’s get back on track. The Montenegrin coast cried out for investors and sold its soul in the process. Even so, it’s not too late for the rest of her. Here’s an important point I’d like to clarify and without trying to sound preachy. What this little country at the heart of Europe needs is the right type of investor. Right now, there is a strong worldwide trend for returning to Mother Nature and therefore a multitude of openings for the eco-conscious businessperson who wants to utilize what is there naturally rather than impose what should never have been there in the first place. 

While Montenegro, specifically the coast has grown in leaps and bounds, little is known about its inland charms such as Durmitor National Park, the Tara River Canyon (the deepest in Europe), Mount Lovcen, Skadar (the biggest lake in the Balkans) and numerous other lakes, forests, and hidden gems. 

The town of Zabljak (4500 inhabitants) nestles in the heart of the Durmitor region. At 1450 meters above sea level it is the highest urban conglomerate not only in the Balkans but also in Europe.  23 mountain peaks (over 2200 meters in height) and 18 mountain lakes surround the picturesque, tiny town. 

There are numerous small villages in the area where I know you’ll find the perfect spot of land for a mountain cabin in a pristine wonderland. 

Real estate prices fluctuate massively.  The people have no idea what to charge and so they go for top dollar.  Understandably so, they are poor and the almighty dollar knows how to seduce. You can buy land at 20, 36, or 100 euro per square meter.  Prices vary and the answer as to why is often ambiguous. Houses are outrageously priced.  You’re better off buying a small piece of land and hiring someone to build a traditional house from local materials. 

A little further from Zabljak, there are a couple of areas - Razvrsje and Savin Kuk, (very popular with skiiers) - where you can find land at 30 euro per square meter. My biggest tip of the day: Stay away from Internet listings! It’s best to hire a local guide who understands your requirements and has your best interests at heart. (I know the perfect person.  His name is Mitar; he speaks English and French - and knows the country like the back of his hand). 

Whatever the asking price you have to barter and be prepared to walk away (with your contact details left behind). 

Let me back it up. Last July, a friend was interested in buying an old, stone village house in Zupa. The house was surrounded by 1 acre of fairytale-gorgeous land, consisting of plum trees, wild cherry trees, berries, wild flowers, and an abundance of underground spring water. The asking price was 80 000 euro.  Too much, as far as my friend was concerned and so, dishearten, she flew back to Australia. The vendor phoned her 4 weeks later to tell her she could have the house for 30 000 euro. That’s a discount of 50 000 euro!  And that’s a true story. 

So here’s the drill, it’s simple: Take a guide, strike a deal with the locals and remember that nothing is set in stone.

Irregular prices = massive bargaining power! 

The actual process of buying a property is fairly straightforward. There are no restrictions when it comes to buying or selling property (not including land, which requires you to register a company in Montenegro). Once a price is agreed on, you then pay a 10% deposit.  Legal fees are 1% of the property price and stamp duty costs 2% of the property price. 

There’s no capital gains tax and the annual property tax is between 0.08% – 0.8% of the book value (of the preceding year). 

Ok, so what can you do with all your time in paradise?

Right now one of the hottest opportunities is anything involving Eco travel. People are looking for something different.  They want to go back to basics.  They yearn for what is real.  People are becoming interested in experiencing farm and peasant life in a pure and clean environment.  They want to discover or perhaps recover simplicity.  To regain what’s important.

If you couldn’t care less about starting a business, then that’s ok too.  Perhaps you’re just searching for that perfect retreat or retirement oasis.  Somewhere you can downshift to first gear, drink crystal waters, and simply absorb the ambience amid the huge variety of flora and fauna as you watch everything fall into place. 

But don’t take my word for it.  Try before you buy. Why not rent a private chalet or log cabin for a while. Private accommodation is better than hotels; the rooms are as good and the atmosphere more personable.

Prices vary between seasons but the average is 250 – 400 euro per week.  If you stay longer you could probably strike a better deal and get a better perspective before you give yourself the green light and bust the big move. 

Presuming you stay in the same spot for a while, you need to go to the nearest police station and register, (and again before you leave. Yawn.) And here’s where it gets even more exciting.  Before you do this, you must buy the registration card from a nearby ‘schoolbooks’ shop.  Not a newsagent. Then you must fill out your details on the card, which are written in Montenegrin and French. Off course! Then take the card to the police station between the hours of 10 am and 1pm. When you do this, make sure to dress conservatively. No casual clothes or thongs. Bill Gates, Mother Teresa, Gandhi or the Queen of England wouldn’t stand a chance of getting in if they were dressed like a backpacker. How do I know this?  As usual, I learnt it the hard way. It is discrimination at its finest, and that’s a fact, but there’s not much we can do about it. 

In my opinion, registering with the police is an archaic and tedious method that dissuades the tourist from coming in the first place. The Government needs to fall in line with the times, obliterate the law and therefore become user-friendlier. Some people don’t even bother to register.  Apparently nothing happens at the border.  When asked as to why they hadn’t registered, they plead ignorance and that’s the end of that. I’m not suggesting this is what you should do. I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble. Do what feels right for you. If you stay in a hotel however, you don’t need to worry as they register you automatically. 

Ultimately, every place on earth has its high and low points.  Paris, for example is littered with dog merde, but that’s never stopped people from glimpsing her beauty. 

Vidimo Se!